Why Do You Even Care?
by DrapedInBlack
Summary: He's changed. He's quiet and weak, fading in and out of consciousness.
1. Chapter 1

**Why Do You Even Care?**

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Disclaimer: I really don't see the point in these. I think we all know that I don't own the damn thing. Except for my pathetic girlish fantasies…but, it's what gets me through my sleepless nights.

Here's Chapter 1. This is my first Harry Potter fic, so be nice. Please update and enjoy!

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Chapter 1 

_- I'll be coming home_

_Just to be alone -_

I set my bags by the door; I'd get them later. I was all alone. I always was. Every summer when I came home from Hogwarts, I'd be alone. I guess I had consciously gotten used to it, but part of me wanted someone. I could have a friend over, if you even considered them that. The bastards either befriended me for my money or because they were frightened of my father.

_- Cause I know you're not there_

And I know that you don't care I can hardly wait to leave this place - 

"Welcome home young Master Malfoy." A stocky, old looking house elf said while bowing.

Draco smiled sadly. "No need for formalities Demetri." He paused and looked at the head house elf. Demetri had been working at the Malfoy Manor since before Draco was born. He had been in charge of making sure the young Slytherin stayed out of trouble, so they were quite close.

He was one of the most intelligent house elves Draco had ever met and that's saying something considering how many worked at the Manor. It was Draco who, as learning to read, shared his knowledge with him. And it was Draco who provided his books and told stories, as he got older. His English was impeccably good for a house elf.

Draco had given the house elf his name when he was little. He was reading a little book about a boy and his talking dog Demetri. Hell of a name for a dog, but from that point on, he called his house elf Demetri. He explained that they looked alike.

"By the way how was Paris sir…er Draco?"

_Ah yes Paris. I was too stay there for the summer. Narcissa wanted me to meet and get to know the rest of the family. It was her side that was in Paris. They were nice most of the time, spoiling me and all. I guess they did have more of a Dark side to them. A few were death eaters, but a few were independent I guess you could say. They were on neither side. I liked them the best. I looked at Demetri and faintly smiled._

"It was fun I guess, better than here. I've only got two nights to be here though, till I go back to Hogwarts." He looked over at the tired house elf and sighed. "Hey Demetri…you've been working hard I'm sure, why don't you and the rest of the elves take the night off alright?"

"But Demetri'd rather stay here and make sure you're first night back is an enjoyable one." The older elf replied truthfully. He had grown fond of the boy.

"Demetri, there is no need. I'm sixteen and you haven't had a day off since my birthday I'm sure. You only get days off when I'm here and father isn't. Go…have fun. Here take this and go out for the night."

"Sir, that is an awful lot of money, Demetri could never…"

"Father DOESN'T pay you! Take it, go."

"Are you positive?" The elf asked hesitantly.

"Yes." The house elf smiled and ran up to hug Draco. He hugged back. Demetri informed all the other house elves and they all thanked their humble master kindly. Demetri was about to walk out the door when Draco spoke up. " Demetri…"

"Yes sir?"

The blond haired boy looked out the window. "When will Lucius and Narcissa be back?" He had long ago stopped calling them father and mother.

The house elf sighed. "They left about a week ago sir, but Demetri has no idea where to. They could be back any day now. Their bags weren't packed too heavily, 'sides your mother…you know how her suitcase always looks."

"Thank you Demetri." He walked out the door and locked it for his young master.

_- No matter how hard I try_

_You're never satisfied_

_This is not a home_

_I think I'm better off alone -_

Draco grabbed his bags and heaved them up the many flights of stairs, not really sure why, he'd just be leaving in two days, and it was already late. He reached the third floor of his manor and walked down the huge hallway until he reached a hand carved black door. Opening the door to his dark colored room, he dropped the set of bags down onto the plush carpet.

In school he had to change in appearance, especially to suit his father's expectations. He was getting sick of it though, always doing what his father wanted, for Draco hated his father, and always had. Lucius was never there, and he made every decision for Draco's future. He didn't want to be a death eater or anything involving the 'Dark Lord.'

The Slytherin hated having to constantly ridicule Harry Potter. He always had to. Always. Having to leave the impression that he was the best, and more superior than everyone around him… when he wasn't.

**And he knew he wasn't. **

Lucius wanted his son to become him.

Draco looked in the mirror at his black make up, tight fitting black shirt with netting underneath, and chained pants. He wore a matching spiked collar and his nails were painted in match. It was his favorite color, despite many accusations. And, in black, you could hide. You could walk through shadows unseen, you could cry in a corner and blend. You could walk down the streets, and most would simply leave you alone, just by the sight.

_I'm going to be alone for the rest of my life…why not embrace it? _He thought bitterly.

The light-haired teen brought out his favorite lighter; black metal one, with the stereotypical death on the side. Its scythe was drenched with blood. He pulled out a drag and lit it, then let the flame die. He stuck the drag in his mouth, inhaling the relaxing, bittersweet addiction and then letting the smoke flow out of his light pink lips. It was a horrible muggle creation, he knew, but he loved them too much. It killed his stress level anyway.

After a few puffs, Draco pulled up his netted black shirt, letting it drop to the ground next to his bed. The familiar click from his lighter hit and the flame arose once more.

_- You always disappear_

_Even when you're here_

_This is not my home_

I think I'm better off alone 

_Home, home this house is not a home -_

The flame danced in the dark gray eyes of the seventeen year old boy. He couldn't help but be enchanted by the beauty of it. Flames could grow big or small, yellow, orange, blue, clear… they were always hot, and if left alone, and they always burned. He held the glowing flame to his the pale underside of his forearm. He got it close, taunting his desiring flesh with the heat. Then finally, he placed it against his arm, holding it there for only a couple of seconds, but that's all you needed. The skin had boiled up and was extremely red. But he loved it so. He had been doing it for years, and for years it had helped.

The cigarette in his mouth grew short, so he tossed it in his glass ashtray. He opened up his bag from school and grabbed a bottle of his best spiced rum. It was a pretty big bottle, he guessed around a liter. He opened the bottle and started drinking it heavily. Setting it down, he relaxed and made an exaggerated exhale.

Over in his nightstand, he had various metal contents. Anywhere from his knives to his morbid cookie cutters. The teenager had created the last things himself. He opened it up, and grabbed a couple. If you really looked at them, they didn't look like cookie cutters. They were far too detailed, but the stars and hearts the house elves had in the kitchen had started to bore him early on. So, he concocted a spell to make his own 'cookie cutter' for lack of better title.

He picked out his newest, unused rose with thorns along the edges. He put on a small kitchen glove and held the small object, only about 3 inches in circumference, out away from his body. He relit the lighter and let the fire heat the metal. He could see it getting hot enough, so lifted the end, where the design wasn't present. He placed it down right next to his last burn. When he let it up, the red, burnt skin had risen and taken the shape of a rose with thorns.

Draco could only smile.

He threw off his upper half clothing revealing many designs and many scars. The Slytherin grabbed his elegantly designed knife and let the fire burn it too. The metal heated and he dragged it across the top of his neck right above his collarbone and then again across his abdomen. The blood fell, but only for a minute. It was deep, but with the elevated skin, the crimson liquid wasn't present for too long.

The young wizard waited a couple minutes and then finally threw his shirt and netting back on. He lazily reached over for another drag. He smoked it, and relaxed, closing his eyes, but not falling asleep. He just lay there, trying to forget he existed.

Then suddenly the door to his room slammed open. " Draco!"

_- By the time you come home_

_I'm already stoned_

_You turn off the TV_

_And you scream at me_

I can hardly wait 

_Till you get off my case -_

"What?" Draco replied nonchalantly. He knew it was his father, and for the first time in his life he didn't care.

"WHAT?" Lucius cried in a mockery. "How dare you answer me like that!" He then did a double take on his son. "And what in Salazar's sake are you wearing? You look like a queer in that getup."

With his two fingers, Draco lifted out his cigarette and blew out smoke. "I believe they're called clothes." He answered sarcastically. Still lying back, he placed the drag back in his mouth.

"No one in my family is allowed to wear clothes like that!" His father stated in an uproar.

"Hmmm… must have missed that memo." Draco stated while still smoking. Out of anger Lucius walked over and grabbed the cigarette out of his son's month, threw it on the ground and stepped on it. Draco rolled his eyes and went to grab another one, but Lucius snatched them and threw them into the hallway. "What the fuck did you do that…" But Lucius shut him up by slapping Draco clear across the cheek.

_- No matter how hard I try_

_You're never satisfied_

_This is not a home_

_I think I'm better off alone -_

"How dare you speak to me in that tone! What gives you the right?" Lucius said as he swiftly grabbed the boy up by the collar of his hated clothing and held him near his face. "You've been drinking too." Lifting his son higher, he roughly pinned him against the wall. Draco would admit, that he was a bit tipsy, but nothing too serious. Lucius leaned in and licked the remaining alcohol that coated the younger of the two's lips.

"Stop it!" Draco cried out as he kicked his father in the shin and they both fell to the ground.

Lucius was the first to get up. Draco looked up at his father and he felt the pressure and pain of the backhanded hit on the side of his face. He went flying into his dresser, unable to move, but still tried to pull himself up. All too soon, he felt the contact of his father's boots against his body, over and over again. The teenager's vision began to blur at the sides, as he felt his body weaken; coughing up into his shaking palm. He tried to get up one last time…but he heard something escape his father's mouth, and a white light suddenly appeared. The next thing he knew he was chained to his bed and his door was locked.

"What are you doing?" Draco asked irritably, watching the death eater place the wand on the table.

"Whipping you into shape." Lucius snapped.

He removed his shirt and gracefully walked over to his bound son. Draco felt his father's unloving lips pound onto his own. Lucius got angry with his son, and how he refused to comply in him. The older of the two bit hard against the younger's lips, making Draco hiss in pain. Blood dripped down from the side of his fair porcelain skin.

Lucius licked his lips and moved his snake like hands down to the tight fitted black shirt and netting. He grunted in disgust as he eyed it. He seized his wand once more and murmured a few words Draco couldn't make out. Again a flash of light, and his clothes were gone.

"Stop it! Narcissa will hear you…s-she'll do something." Draco stuttered a bit as his father crawled onto the bed.

His father smirked as he sat back and looked at his son. "You know how your mother is. A few drinks and she's incapable to string more than three words together without slipping. Plus, I'll probably have my fun with her after you." He paused for a second and stared intently at his son.

"Now that I get a good look at you... I bet you haven't **had** sex yet have you?" He looked at his son blasé face. "Are you a queer?" He asked in a laughing voice. But again, Draco's face didn't change. "Oh how fitting." Lucius paused. "Well I guess you'll enjoy this then."

"N-no don't." Draco stammered.

"Silence!" Lucius yelled, hitting his son across the face and stomach more than needed to keep him quiet. " Now…"Bending down, Lucius reached his destination of a pink nub. Going further, he darted out his tongue and circled his lips around it, until an abrupt sneer was heard and he bit down fiercely. Small, droplets of blood ran down Draco's chest, meeting more.

Lucius paused for a minute and sat up. He used his wand to brighten the extremely dim lights. "What is all this?" Lucius asked referring to the cuts and burns marks on his body.

_- You always disappear_

_Even when you're here_

_This is not my home_

_I think I'm better off alone -_

There were shapes of all kinds, and fresh cuts along with fresh burns. "You did this to yourself? So my queer, smoking, drinking, son is also a masochist. Well, well, well… I never knew all this about you Draco."

Lucius saw the lighter of Draco's sitting on his bedside table. He lit the muggle object and moved it over to light a black candle of Dracos'. While the wax melted some, the death eater toyed and reopened his son's fresh wounds, causing Draco to flinch in pain.

Finally, the older picked up the thick candle and held it over Draco. "Well, enjoy."

He poured the wax, and watching it steam as it hit the cool insides of the teenager's cuts. Draco screamed out in agony. He didn't find enjoyment in this at all. The wax hardened in the crevasses of his cuts, making them relentlessly sting. And with the remaining wax burning in the candle He poured it onto Draco's lips, making them burn like hell. His father gave him a quick kiss on the dried wax covering the boy's lips. He then flaked off the pieces so that he could kiss the real thing, causing even more pain to Draco. The cut on his lip was now deeper and it was bleeding again. Draco got enough courage to bite his father's advancing tongue.

"Still so defiant." Lucius tsked.

Draco got a small rush of energy. He glared at his father, making him look stern back at him. "I hate you Lucius." He yelled to his sadistic father." I'm hated because of you. I'm not like you!" He cried out. " I'm not some egotistical, rich prick! I'm not a future death eater! I'll never be like you! I'm sick of people thinking I'm this cruel prejudice bastard. I want to be my own person!"

Lucius frowned sickeningly, leaning down close to his son's ear. "You'll become what I say you become." He spat. He straddled his son so his hardened member faced him, the tip of it barely touching his bottom lip.

"No…" Draco said shakily.

"Now Draco, don't make me angry." Lucius hissed as he hit Draco until he submitted.

Draco hesitantly opened his mouth, but before he could do anything else, his father forced himself in his mouth. The older man started to move back and forth into the teenager's mouth, causing him to choke a few times. He couldn't catch a breath at all and the thrusts were directly hitting his face. He could feel his father's balls at his chin and his head was hitting the headboard over and over; feeling the blood soak his hair and run down his neck. Doing nothing more then pray to anything and anyone that he was doing it right and he would come soon. His sad wish was answered as the seed of his father sat in his mouth. The horrible liquid painting the insides of his mouth.

"Now swallow."

"You sick…" Lucius had lost all patience. He pinned his son's neck to the bottom of the bed making him gag and sputter what was in his mouth.

"Do it." He commanded. Draco gave up and swallowed the revolting substance. He felt it thickly go down his throat.

"Good." He let go of his son's throat, watching as he sharply took in air. Draco's weak eye's fluttered open a couple minutes later. He swore he could have broken down and cried right then and there.

His father was hard again, and he knew he wouldn't leave until he was satisfied.

_- Home, home_

_This house is not a_

_Home, home_

_This house is not a_

_Home, home_

_This house is not a_

Home, home This house is not a home… 

_I'm better off alone -_

Lucius was sick of these cruel, childish games he was playing with his son. It was time he truly taught him a lesson for rebelling. His wand was used once more, and Draco was now chained on his stomach. Lucius hovered over his son's back, licking along the boy's spine. Draco shuttered as he felt the tip of his father's member brushing against his opening. "Lucius…please don't."

_- No matter how hard I try -_

He was still pretty wet from Draco's mouth and his seed still lingering on the outer edges of himself. Without warning, Lucius Malfoy plunged into his son, Draco Malfoy, stealing away his virginity.

_- You're never satisfied -_

"Ahhhhhhhhh!" No preparation, no lubricant. Draco could feel himself rip. He could feel that splits continuing to enlarge. It hurt so badly. He could feel the zippers of his father's pants cutting the back of his leg, scraping painfully. Barely breathing, barely conscious, Draco gripped his sheets as innocent tears streamed down his tender cheeks, softly whispering to himself. "Make it stop… make it stop… someone please make it stop."

But it didn't.

And nobody came to save him.

He had to wait it out. It was only a couple of minutes, but it felt like hours. And with each thrust, he lost a little more of himself. Maybe **this** was the real Draco Malfoy.

Then, there was that one, final plunge; it was so hard that Draco saw stars as he screamed. "Father!" He came inside Draco, and panted on top of his son.

After a few minutes or regulation, Lucius zipped his pants, but first using Draco's bed sheets to get the blood off of himself and his pants. While readjusting himself, he bent down to his barely breathing son. "You finally called me Father again." He said smirking.

The door slowly creaked open revealing a giddy Narcissa. "Hello…er… Draco right? Ya' having fun?" She giggled insanely and fell on her ass. "Draco…what a funny name. I wonder who came up with it."

Lucius rolled his eyes irritably. "Go to the bedroom whore." Narcissa only giggled and saluted Lucius. She stumbled once trying to get up, but finally she got on her feet and made her way to the bedroom. "I'll be back for you tomorrow. Don't miss me too much." Lucius said laughing as we strode out of the room and shut the door.

_- You always disappear_

Even when you're here 

_This is not my home_

_I think I'm better off alone -_

Draco couldn't move. He felt so broken. He couldn't even cry; he could feel them trapped inside. Lay there, naked, bloodied, beaten…and once more all alone. His bottom half seem paralized, and part of him wished he would never feel it again. Draco's eyes were wide, unable to even blink correctly. "I…wish…somebody would…come…h-help me." Draco rasped. Eyes blurring with haze; hearing his parents moaning and howling. All the more wanting to throw up.

Thankfully, Draco fell into a dreamless sleep.

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"Draco…Draco please wake up sir." A familiar voice whispered in his ear. Draco's eyes shot open and he was about to scream, but a small, gentle hand cupped itself over his mouth. "Shhh…shhh…Draco it's me, Demetri. It's okay." Demetri let go of his master's mouth and let the boy exhale.

"F-father…where is he?" Malfoy asked in a panic.

"It's okay, he's asleep. It's been a few hours since I left. Are you okay?"

"Father…he…he…" Draco started, but tears fell from his eyes.

"Listen to me Master Draco, don't let him win. He didn't break you; you're stronger than him. You've never called him father, don't, it's what he wants. Sir…you've got to stay quiet if you want to get out of here." Demetri stated in a hushed voice. " Demetri'd rather die then have you stay here, but first, lets get you out of these." He snapped his fingers and the chains were gone. Draco slowly got up and the house elf handed him the clothing he was wearing before. "Demetri is sorry you have no time to get cleaned up, but you have to leave now."

"Do whatever you can till you get to school. Demetri'll send you're things to Hogwarts, and your books were already bought. Once you get on the train and reach Hogwarts, you'll be free of him sir. He can't take you from there. You're safe there. And while at school you'll turn seventeen you're an adult. But you must go now before he wakes up or Demetri's sure he'll keep you here." Draco bent down to the teary eyed elf and hugged him tightly. "Take care of yourself…Draco."

"Thank you Demetri." The elf handed Draco his broom, his wand, and what money he had left over from what Draco had given him earlier. Draco reached into his drawer while Demetri wasn't looking. He grabbed his lighter along with his 'cookie cutters' and his favorite dagger; putting them in a small bag and throwing it over his shoulder. He opened the screen door to his balcony. The young Malfoy got up on the railing only looking back to see Demetri's face one last time. Taking a deep breath, he flew off into the night sky.

Once Draco was safely out of sight, the elder elf gathered all of Draco necessities. He made sure they all touched his skin. Then he snapped his fingers and he too was gone.

_- Home, home_

_This house is not a_

_Home, home_

_This house is not a_

_Home, home_

This house is not a 

_Home, home_

This house is not a home… - 

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I hope you guys didn't mind the song. It was Home by Three Days Grace. See, the song was the whole reason I started the story. I was sitting listening to it in my great grandmother's car and then all of a sudden I shouted ' I GOT IT' which made my dad swerve her car…scaring the shit out of my 87 year old grandmother. I'm said sorry…OH but back to the point. That's why I put it in there. I don't expect to make this a song fic…I don't believe. If I do…opps. But I really don't think I will. Sorry if it irritates you. I contemplated it for about and hour deciding whether to keep it or delete, but I think it describes Draco's feelings. And yes I had to make Draco go all goth, mainly cause I knew it would piss off his father. J Gotta admit though makes him sound even hotter doesn't it?

Well I hope everyone enjoy the first chappie. hands out Draco plushies YAH!!! Oh and I hope that no one gets ideas from this. It's my odd mind, I don't know how I get half the ideas I get. Heh. Well PLEASE REVIEW!!!! It'll make me sooo happy…if you don't…I'll send my army of squirrels after you!!! Hahaha…I will do it!!

-Suraka-chan


	2. Chapter 2

**Why Do You Even Care?**

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Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. Seriously if I did, Harry and Draco would have had a hot and steamy sexual situation. It would be great…

All right Chapter 2. Yah! Don't really have much to say other than thanks for the feedback last chapter. Well, enjoy!

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**Chapter 2**

Draco's POV

I can't breathe well, but I'm almost there, Diagon ally. Of coarse, I couldn't go the nicer part, I had to hide. My weak body is failing me and I can barely keep my grip on the broom. I began to drift down and into the middle of an empty street until I felt my feet firmly land on the ground. I leaned up against a wall, waiting for the dizziness to pass.

It seemed to subside a little so I took that opportunity to pull out my wand and heal some of my wounds. I muttered a couple spells from various levels since I was an expert at healing charms, but in my condition and mere fact that doing on myself, it only seemed to cease most of the bleeding. My vision was getting worse and if I didn't get somewhere fast, I was going to pass out here and now.

Somehow, and I can't even fathom how, an Inn came into view. It was called 'Black Cat Inn'. Oh how original...it must have excellent service. But, it was my only option and it was all I had the energy to find. I reached for the door, and struggled to open it, but I saw the candle lit room and I was relieved. I limped, using my broom as support, up to an old, plump man reading the daily prophet from that morning. It must have been around 5am by now. It did take me awhile to finally get here; I barely got my broom to stay in the air as long as I did.

"Can I… get a room?" I rasped out.

He put down his paper; crinkling it in the process, as he settled his dark brown eyes on my features. I watched as his eyes grew in circumference…I bet I looked like hell.

"Yeah…uh…sure." He paused. "Ar' ya okay?"

"I'm fine."

"What's yer' name boy?" I placed more money up on the table than was needed for a nights stay.

"Don't ask questions." I said bluntly. Money was an international language, and I spoke it well.

The man nodded and walked me to my room. I feebly followed behind him, and he even opened the door for me. Thank Salazar it was on the first level. I nodded to him, and then put a locking charm on right as the door clicked. As I collapsed on the bed, I let my anxiety on the matter flow out with each breath, whilst letting my weariness take hold of my body.

My eyes were so heavy.

Part of me wished to simply fall asleep and not wake up. The hopeful side of me looked over each wound and picked at it a bit, secretly begging for blood flow. Maybe I would just accidentally die. But, that left the option that if I lived then what? Continue on with my life as though nothing happened?

Actually, even if I convinced myself otherwise, that's how it would be for me.

I took the risk; my eyes closing; the dim colors of the bed swirling until everything was dark, and the sounds followed suit. Then my mind was forgotten and my breathing slowed. I let myself fall asleep.

----------

The next morning my eyes fluttered open, the bright light of the sun beamed at me, mockingly. I glared back, but it just ended up hurting my eyes. A lot of good that did.

It seemed I lived to see another day…wasn't quite sure if I was happy about it or not. I felt so sore, my body seemed ached in places I didn't know could. I knew today wasn't going to be a great day. And, my first mistake was to try and move. I knew I had to, but every time I even moved and inch my body stung sending shock waves of pain up my slender arms and down to my legs.

Excruciatingly slowly, I moved over to the mirror. Probably mistake number two. I was so mangled. I didn't have too many swollen parts, they must have settled, my healing charm may have helped that too. I was just so multi-colored. I looked like a fucking rainbow. Anger rose as I thought of my father, images from the night before still running through my head. I hated him so much.

I glanced over to the clock and it read 10am…did I really only get five hours of sleep? It felt longer. I looked and saw the paper sitting on the dresser by my bed. I casually looked it over…until a saw the date.

"Oh shit!" I cursed allowed. I had slept all day yesterday and through the night into this morning. I had less than an hour to get to the train. "Shit!"

I didn't even have time to take a shower, nor change clothes…not that the last one really was an option. I had no clothes to change into. But, I did have a long cloak with a hood. I guess it would have to do. Now I had to find some Floo Powder. And fast. Maybe that guy by the desk had some; most every wizard or witch had some. I gathered my few things that I had in my small bag containing the remainder of my money, my lighter, one pack of drags, my daggers and 'cookie cutters'. I guess it wasn't the best supplies, but it's what I had. I'd have all my stuff once I reached Hogwarts.

I walked out of the room, shutting the door behind me. Following the same path I had as I came, I found the same small desk with the same man from when I first checked in. He looked at me; a small smile appeared through his rough features. " Ar' ya doing better boy?"

I didn't answer and he only nodded in response. "I was wondering…do you have any Floo Powder? I'm going to be late for my train to school. I'll pay you with the rest of my mon…"

"I knew you were young…still in school." He cut me off. "I don't want yer' money boy." He went to the back; I heard rummaging going on. I checked the clock by the door. 10:22 am. I was starting to panic a bit, but I told myself I still had some time.

While he was back there I threw on my ankle length, hooded cloak and stuck my hand in my pocket, but I was surprised to feel something in them. There was the money that I had bribed the man behind the desk with; I must not have felt him slip them into my coat pocket. He came back out with a small jar filled with floo powder. "Here. Take some, there's a lit fire ovr' there. Go before you're late."

"Umm…er…" I looked at him in a funny way. I wasn't used to such kindness, nor was I used to thanking people.

He could tell I was in a sort of in shock. "No need ta' thank me…ya only got about twenty minutes." I nodded faintly and went into the other room.

Salazar I was still in so much pain. I threw the powder in my hand into the fire and watched it turn the familiar green. "Hogwarts Express station!" I yelled as I stepped into the fire. The beautiful green engulfed my body, making me feel warm, but ignited every wound one my body like it was on fire. And shamefully I kind of liked it. Ungracefully, I fell out landing on my face. I glanced around, and saw that I was in the fireplace closest to the train's station. It took me a minute but finally I got to my knees and then to my feet.

I walked out of the building and saw the big, unmistakable Hogwarts Express. I glanced up at the clock and saw that it was now 10:45am. I was relieved that I had made it with time to spare. I quickly put up my hood, covering my clothes as well, before somebody could recognize me. I stepped onto the train and found a compartment on the end, purposely avoiding the regular compartments that a lot of the Slytherins went into. This particular one was empty, and hopefully it would stay that way.

I relaxed my head onto my drawn up knees, keeping my hood over my face and clothes. A cloak like this would be regularly worn over outfits…all I had to do is keep it closed until I got up to my room. But I didn't know what to do about the opening ceremony. I would have to put down my hood then. I'd just skip and listen in for the someone to say the password. I would wait until everyone was in and then go myself, avoiding and blowing off anyone that I crossed. It better work…

Nobody can find out.

"Last call for the train!" I heard some anonymous person call, taking me out of my daze. I prayed no one would sit in here; I wasn't exactly in the mood for company.

Everyone boarded and the train took off. I could here people finding compartments and luckily for me nobody came to mine.

---------- Normal POV

About ten minutes passed and Draco was still alone. He figured it would stay that way, until he heard the familiar creak of the compartment door opening up. There stood none other then Harry Potter.

"Uh…hi." Harry stated plainly, trying to peer under the hood.

Draco merely held his face closer to his knees. Harry sat down on the opposite side of the mystery person and he fidgeted a bit. "Who are you?" He finally asked.

Draco sighed and finally let his voice be known. "Leave me alone Potter, I'm not particularly in the mood." Surprisingly, his tone as sharp as usual.

"Malfoy? Why aren't you with you're friends? Have they finally ditched you?" Harry stated with a smirk.

"The same could be said for you."

Harry groaned. "No actually they started snogging while I was there. Rather disgusting sight. So out of boredom and a sickening feeling I got up and left." He paused for a moment and wondered. "So, oh mighty one, why aren't you really with you're friends? And why are you hiding under that cloak, you're ugly, but you won't burn my eyes."

Draco didn't feel like being messed with. He couldn't even get mad at his rival. "Please, not now Harry, just leave me alone."

Harry flinched at the sound of his name out of his mouth. It was so strange hearing it from him.

"You said please…and my name!" Draco thought about it, and he guessed he had. He just didn't care. "What's wrong with you Malfoy?"

"Nothing." The Slytherin replied abruptly as he reached for his small bag. He pulled out his lighter and a cigarette; lighting it with his favorite lighter and placing it in his mouth. His memory shot back to when his father lit the candle. He could still feel the pain as he had poured the wax in his cuts.

"You really shouldn't smoke." Harry said making a face, though he couldn't deny he loved the smell of them.1

Draco pulled the drag out of his mouth; blowing out the smoke lingering in his lungs. "Thanks, mum, I'll keep that in mind." He murmured, but even it was a sad, pathetic attempt to regain his appearance as a Malfoy.

Harry only smirked and finally asking a question to him once more. "Why are you hiding under that thing, anyway?"

Draco didn't answer for a minute but finally let a lie flow out. "I'm not hiding, I'm just cold." For a while the two sat in silence, not bothering each other. Until Harry check his watch and they would be there soon. He quickly changed into his uniform not caring if Malfoy was there.

Once he finished he went over to his rival. "Hey Malfoy are you up? You'd better put on your uniform, we're going to be there soon." But it seemed the Slytherin had fallen asleep. Harry walked over to Draco to wake him, but as he got closer to him curiosity got the best of him. The dark-haired male hesitantly pulled down Draco's hood.

It was like a horror film. He looked so bad that there was no way it could possibly be real. Especially to Malfoy! He was praised with money and followers!

The light-haired teen's black makeup was running down his face. Small, scratched in cuts were there, along with bruises galore. It was so horrifically unreal.

"No...no…no…stop." The teen suddenly mumbled in his sleep. Harry stared down at his unpleasantly scrunched up face. Wanting to see if he was alright, Harry let his hand creep closer until the Slytherin shot out of his seat; eyes wide with fear.

Draco didn't know what to do. He had seen him, he was _seeing _him.

_What should I do?_ Draco thought.

Harry took in all of the eccentric and unexpected attributes of his rival. Black netting with a tight shirt over it and pants with chains and zippers on them. A spiked collar around his neck and random rings dressing his fingers. Last but not least, a piercing on his right ear. It came as a shock to Harry, he didn't think Draco dressed that way. In contrast to all the black, he looked even paler than usual, but it was almost sickly how skinny he was. Had he always been that skinny?

Draco quickly went to grab his cloak when suddenly Harry pulled it out of his hand and put it behind him. The teen was too weak to even have a chance to Harry's normal strength.

"What happened to you Draco?" He asked.

He didn't reply, only looked down as his feet. He could see his bruises on his hands, and felt the stinging pain course through his body. Draco held up his head defiantly and gazed into his rival's eyes.

Harry lost his capability to breathe. He had looked into the Slytherin's eyes before, but they were never like this…never this dark. Never this dull. His once mercury colored eyes used to sparkle at least a little through his glares. They had a sense of pride to them, smug and superior as they may be, they at least had life.

"Draco…what happened?"

"Stop asking me that! Just stop it!" He yelled as he quickly walked past to get his cloak. Harry surprisingly let him. He was at a loss of words, not sure of what to think happened. Maybe it was nothing, maybe Draco just got in a fight that he was no match for.

Draco draped and tied the cloak around his neck. He let his head raise to stare at his counterparts. "Why do you even care anyway?" Not waiting for an answer, Draco flipped up his hood and left the compartment.

Harry felt the train come to a stop and the door opened up. He grabbed what he had and left the compartment. Down the strip of the hall, he saw Hermione and Ron coming towards him.

"Hey Harry we're sorry, really." Harry ignored them…he didn't even hear them truthfully. The Gryffindor watched the cloaked figure walk until he was out of sight. What had happened to Malfoy…and why _did_ he care?

_I must be imagining things. It was only a stupid fight I know it…I don't care what happened to the stuck up prat. I hope it hurt when he lost in that fight_. He thought arrogantly.

"Harry…?" Ron asked his best friend.

" Hmmm?" Harry replied, not really paying attention to them. Finally Harry sighed and looked at his friends with a smile. "Let's go." They exited the train and headed on in to Hogwarts.

_Why can't I get this sickening gut feeling that it isn't what it seems?_

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Well, that was Chapter 2. Hope you liked it. I hope I'm not moving the story too fast. I like SOME suspense. Well review, they make me happy and keep me going! They get me to write faster. Review or I'll send the purple people eaters on you!!! I bought them on Ebay! sticks out tongue

Suraka-chan


	3. Chapter 3

**Why Do You Even Care?**

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Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. Seriously if I did, Harry and Draco would have had a hot and steamy sex scene. It would be great…

Hey I posted Chapter 3, but I couldn't have done it without my beta!!!

Her name is fyrelement. I love her to death…she's the best ever!!!! Check out her stories and review, she's really amazing! Thank you fyrelement!!!

Well, on with the story!!!

----------------

**Chapter 3**

**Draco's POV**

I went in quickly, so that no one tried to associate with me. Nobody did. Slipping past the great hall, I behind some statues Lucky me; the statues were animated ones and they questioned my presence. I told them I wasn't going to harm them or anyone else; I just wanted a place to hide from all the other students until the ceremony was over.

They asked to see my face.

I hesitantly did so, but hell, they were _statues_! They wouldn't _tell_ anyone. So I showed them and they nodded their heavy heads. They didn't acknowledge my bruises; they just wanted to confirm that I was actually a student. And I seemed to please them because they moved closer together, giving me even more shelter. Relaxing, I listened to the opening ceremony. It was boring (as usual), with the sorting and whatnot.

We got about 13 new Slytherins and Gryffindors got the same; ironic how we were often so in sync. The feast began - you could tell with the immense clatter of plates and the consistent chatter. I thought about the feast for a minute and realized I hadn't eaten in about two days now. I wasn't really hungry though. Nothing seemed appealing, 'cept maybe a bit of rum and coke.

And a nice drag to go with it. God what I would do for a drag… but if I did it now I would inevitably get caught. Finally, I heard the stomping of shoes hitting the overly polished floor. I hunched down and made myself as unnoticeable as I possibly could. When the main flow of them were gone, I quickly snuck around to where the Slytherin House was. It felt like the dungeons had gotten even colder than before.

Staying hidden from the group, I ran.

I heard the prefect speak the password ' Pasilmin' to everyone. They all filed in and the door closed. I waited to catch my breath and regained my smug and arrogant demeanor; trying not to appear as weak as I felt. I stepped up to the portrait and it asked for the password.

"Pasilmin." I spoke. The portrait swung open and I entered inside to the common room.

I tried to slip past, but it seemed that I stuck out with the black cloak and all.

"Hey, who are you?" Crabbe asked me. I kept walking, pretending I didn't hear him. " Hey! I'm talking to you, in the black cloak!"

I quickly regained my composure and spoke in my fake superior voice.

"Merlin Crabbe, it's Malfoy you stupid git! I wasn't in the mood of being blessed with your idiotic presence. I came in like this hoping I wouldn't be spoken to, but it seems nothing gets past you." I laced every word with my common use of sarcasm and cruelty.

_Thanks, Lucius, _I thought bitterly.

"I'm not feeling well so leave me alone, or face dire consequences." And with that, I strode away, still exuding disdain and contempt for all around me. I'm pretty sure I left him there trying to understand the meaning of what I had just said. I went into my room and was immensely relieved to see my stuff. I quickly ran to my trunk, grabbing a random pair of pants and a comfortable long sleeve shirt to sleep that night. Also some other bathroom necessities. Before anyone had time to acknowledge me, I ran into one of the guy's bathrooms and locked the door.

I took a deep breath and exhaled it, quite a bit relieved. I felt so much better that I had just made it this far, hiding myself before I took my shower. Hopefully, I would look a little better after I did.

Turning on the faucet in the shower, I waited for it to warm up. In the meantime I threw my bag onto the ground and then stripped off my clothes, my chains rattling as they were gently pulled off.

I was in so much pain.

It still hurt to move.

I saw that the water was warm, so I plugged up the stopper and it slowly filled up. I glanced in the mirror at my torso, disgusted at my cuts from before. They still had dried wax inside of it, making the lacerations red and purple around the rims.

Great, it was infected; maybe one of my healing charms could fix that later.

There was dried sperm and blood on the back of my leg. It was revolting. A wave of nausea flooded me and I flipped up the toilet seat and threw up.

It hurt more than it usually would, because my stomach was empty. I just gagged and my eyes got blurry. All I could feel coming up was the acids from the lining of my stomach, burning the insides of my throat; painted on my tongue and teeth.

I finally took a couple of deep breaths, hoping that it would blow over. In the end it did and I calmed down. Resting my head, I peeked back over to the bath. It was now full. So I shut it off, and slowly stood up from my feeble position on the cool tile floor. I got a small handful of water from the sink and sloshed it around in my mouth and spit it out, trying to get the taste of bile out. I walked closer to the shower and hesitantly lifted a foot. Gracefully, I placed it inside the warm water.

I bit my lip from screaming out; it stung like a thousand needles were being pushed into my foot! I knew I had to get in, though. In a very slow, excruciatingly painful couple of minutes I was finally lying back in the tub. The dirt, blood, and whatever the hell else covered my body, started to swirl around me. I helped it out a bit, but the most agonizing part was trying to get the candle wax out of my already scabbing cuts. So I had to pick at them to reach all of the wax. I dug the black substance out of my skin, getting it out of all the crevices.

It started bleeding quite a bit into the water, but it helped to get the wax out. Finally all traces of the wax was gone, even the little bit that was in the cut on my lip. I lifted myself out of the tub and drained the murky water. And then turning on the faucet once more, I watched the warm water flow out. It was relaxing. I pulled the showerhead on, letting the water cascade down my slender body. Bringing out my shampoo from my bag, I opened the top, inhaling the sweet smell of cinnamon and pouring it into my scratched hands. I lathered the substance until it was bubbly.

Then I ran it through my blond hair. But as I got further back I hissed when it stung, completely forgetting about the head wound I had received. It continued to burn, but I let it go and rinsed out the shampoo and then getting out conditioner. The same cinnamon smell exited the tip of the bottle, and I lathered it up, running it through my scalp. I let that stay in as I got out my soap and cleaned up my body. I watched as more blood and dirt fell from me. Even though a painful experience, my wounds felt so much better and I felt I could somewhat breathe. My conditioner was now out, so I shut off the water and reached for a towel on top of counter.

I dried off and went to look in the mirror. I held my head low, hoping that I would look better than I did. I still looked like I was beaten.

_What would I tell people?_

Sighing once more I threw my pants on and looked once more at my upper body. I saw the rose burn I made from the other night. That made a small smile spread across my reddened lips. It was beautiful; maybe my best yet. I pulled my big shirt on and placed my towel over my head, covering my face, making it look like I was drying my hair. I exited the safe confinements of the bathroom, just trying to make it to my bed unseen. Obviously It's just not my day.

" Hey Draco, we didn't see you at the opening ceremony. Where were you?" A random fifth year asked me.

" Leave me alone, I'm going to sleep." I angrily said to him. He backed off. I quickly closed the curtains around my bed, casting a silencing spell and a warding charm. I set my wand down on my nightstand. I decided not to smoke, or drink for that matter. Maybe tomorrow. I let my eyes drift close and I fell asleep.

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**Normal POV**

Harry followed his friends to the common room, not really listening to their excessive babbling about this year. Hermione was thinking about studying starting tomorrow on material that would be on the N.E.W.T.s, and Ron was complaining that she needed to lighten up. Then he started kissing her neck.

Harry grew annoyed, not by them, just by the fact that he was thinking about Malfoy again.

He was missing from the ceremony, the feast, everything, and if anyone shouldn't be skipping meals is him. He didn't get anything from the trolley when the lady came by on the train either. He really worried if Malfoy was okay; he seemed to be hiding the fact that he was in pain.

Harry collapsed onto his bed once he got into the guys' dorms. He was tired of thinking, though it wasn't even late, but everyone else was doing something… or _someone_. The Gryffindor placed his glasses on his bedside desk and let his eyes drift off to sleep.

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The next morning Harry woke up early. He took the opportunity to grab one of the showers before anyone else. He took a quick one, not even bothering to brush his hair afterwards and exited out of the bathroom fully dressed. By then most of the other kids were up, some showered and somewhat ready. Harry walked down into the common room.

Breakfast was going to start in about ten minutes, but he wanted to be there beforehand. He told his friends he was going to go ahead and go and that he would meet them at breakfast. He went down the hall, seeing a few other students.

He wondered how Malfoy was looking this morning, so he waited, hoping he would pass by like he usually did around this time, but he didn't. Finally Harry looked back and he saw his friends and waved. They walked together and went to sit down.

"So, what did you have to do Harry" The often curious Hermione asked.

"Oh nothing, I just felt like getting out and walking around. I went to bed early last night so I had pent up energy." Harry said smiling. The food appeared and everyone started grabbing some. Harry got some bacon, eggs…the regular. He nonchalantly glanced over his shoulder over at the Slytherin table. _He_ wasn't there.

_Stop worrying about the arrogant prat!_ Harry's mind yelled at him.

He did as he was told…so to say.

Everyone started heading to class. Luckily for them they had Potions first, and then Transfiguration. So, Harry, Ron, and Hermione headed to Potions class. They all found their seats, the three aiming for the back. Snape entered late and dramatically as usual. He got up in the front of class and check-marked who was there. He glanced over the Gryffindors and then the Slytherins. He paused and spoke up, directing a question at the seventh year Slytherins.

"Where's Mr. Malfoy?" Harry listened intently.

Blaise spoke up for the group. "He wasn't feeling well, sir. He said he would go to Madam Pomfrey."

Snape scowled but continued class. They were making some potion, Harry wasn't quite sure which, but he paired up with Ron and Hermione anyway. She brewed the potion, asking Harry to hand her things, or put in certain things.

_Why can't I concentrate?!_ Harry thought angrily. Potions class finally ended, with the relief to everyone. He ran off, leaving his friends behind, following the Slytherins to Madam Pomfrey. He stayed behind the door and listened in to the conversation.

"Umm…has Draco Malfoy been in here today?" A seventh year girl asked.

"No…he hasn't was he supposed to be?" She asked with a hint of worry in her voice.

"No, he had a headache that's all, we weren't sure if he would come here or not. Thanks though."

She nodded. Harry took in air sharply. It seemed he had been the only one to see him the way he was. He checked his watch. "Shit." He murmured. He was going to be late for Transfiguration.

Harry hustled down the halls and he made it just in the nick of time. He sat next to Neville - that being the only seat left. Neville smiled at Harry and Harry smiled back. Then they went on with class, reviewing how to transfigure living things. Not hard - it was more or less a recap, to get the group used to transfiguration spells again. It wasn't too tough that day, so Harry tried his best to pay attention. Though it only did so much.

Currently, half of Harry's mind was being rebellious and the other was trying to reasonable; reminding him of his morals.

_YOU HATE MALFOY. _The other begged to differ.

_Do you really hate him? You can't get him out of your head. He's on your mind when he's being arrogant, and he's on your mind when he's mentally or physically hurt._ _Either way, it's about him, good or bad. You know you're worried about him_.

The other…

_YOU HATE MALFOY._

So, the other was a bit primitive in its reasoning. Harry shook out of it and let his face fall to the desk.

"I'm loosing it." He murmured aloud, only audible to his ears.

Class ended quite quickly in Harry's mind; he had no idea what they had covered after the review. Bunch of notes really…but it was lunch now, so Harry and his friends all huddled in a group and headed for the Great Hall. Harry hoped to see Draco at the Slytherin table, but yet again he was missing.

And as the day went on, he was not seen. Anywhere. Harry didn't have the nerve to ask where he was. So he let it be and tried to walk it off. More or less… literally. They had no classes in the afternoon, so for his two best friends it was of for a lovely afternoon of studying and snogging.

He guessed he somewhat felt left out with them, but partially relieved. They were sometimes clingy, making him feel trapped. So, this year he had more time to relax. He got to take walks alone and not having to be 'The perfect, amazing, beat Voldemort god only knows how many times, the great Boy-Who-Lived, Saviour of the wizarding world.' He never asked to be those things, never wanted to be either.

_Sure I guess for the first week it was kind of cool, hell maybe even the first year, because we had done something amazing._ He thought as he lay against the comforting bark of an old oak tree. _But then from that point on I was expected to be everyone's protector, when I never wanted the job to begin with. I just did what was right, but I want a life too. I want a life not followed by the press. I want to have secrets too. I want to be able to breathe and stretch my arms without hitting someone else._

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**Draco's POV**

I sat in my room, free of covers and curtains, knowing that everyone was in class. I wasn't sure if I was okay or not. I had been thinking about it for a couple hours now, about what Lucius did to me.

He's right.

I really _am_ worthless.

No one would ever love the gay son of a death eater. Really sounds appealing huh... I wouldn't go for someone like that. No one would. I have no good traits, I'm not beautiful enough for anyone, and I'm covered in scars - things I'm sure only I find gorgeous.

Harry had seen me.

What did he think?

Tainted, dirtied, unworthy of his eyes? He probably wanted to know what happened to mock and ridicule me for. He would probably tell the school and get his kicks out of it. Fuck him, not that I don't deserve it.

Lucius made me hate him, Lucius made me mock him in everyway I possibly could. I felt like a drag; not having for almost twenty-four hours can get to you. I reached into my bag and went to grab my cigarettes and lighter, but the bag fell over. The contents spilled out over my bed; one of the cookie cutters nicked my finger. A little droplet of blood oozed out and a smile spread across my lips.

I lit my drag, placing the bittersweet substance in my mouth, tasting, breathing every bit of it. My nerves relaxed, calming my racing mind and heart. I pulled out my black and green embroidered dagger with the slight curve on the blade.

It was my favorite. I unsheathed it and gazed at the glossy outlook of the weapon. How I loved it so. I rolled up my long sleeved shirt up to my elbows. I was sick of what was safe. If that makes any sense to you in the slightest I'd be surprised. I wasn't sure if I wanted to die or not, pathetic huh? Some days I did, some days I didn't. I was thinking, maybe luck or fate would decide for me.

So… I'll just cut with my heated blade across my thin wrist. And if I die from it, it was meant to be, if not then it wasn't…though that may not always apply, I'm sure I'll do something like this again.

But, as I lit the lighter my thoughts got worse and my indecisiveness was being battled over.

Did I really want this life? The question froze in his mind for quite some time. I had just determined to let fate decide and now I don't even want that. Finally, his eyes fell to his body, looking over it.

I don't want this life.

Yeah, I know I sound like the epitome of the average suicidal kid. 'Oh people hate me…oh I'm different…oh I hate myself…blah blah blah.' I know that already! I know, and people would just tell me to suck it up and stop acting melodramatic. Maybe their right, maybe I'm over reacting. But when you laugh, and make fun of the reasons someone puts out to you...did you even stop to think of what those feelings would feel like?

How everyday gets worse, watching your life die out, with no excitement in it. You're going to die eventually. Why not do it sooner than later? I don't ask to be a burden; throw me in the river when you find my body. I won't mind, honest. If I had to put my reasons bluntly, I guess it would be because I'm no longer accepted in this world. I'm not what I hold up to be; I'm not my real self. I'd rather die then stay living with my surreal life.

Call me a hopeless romantic, but I wanted to lose my virginity with someone I loved. Not to my father. Can you imagine what that feels like?

When I think back, I can still feel his heavy weight atop me; I can still feel him inside of me. They say that your first time is supposed to be memorable. This isn't exactly what I had hoped for. About the whole self-mutilation issue, well, it started out when I was somewhat young. I used to purposely break a bone, or cut my arm, hoping my parents would treat it, or worry over me.

But, they only sent me to a house elf, told me to tell them to fix it. I did with the bones, but I started to like the cuts and the 'accidental' oven burns. If you look on my left hand, there are faint burn marks of a rack on the inside of the oven. I placed my hand on it and that was the first time. I was amazed watching the house elf use it to cook; they liked doing it the muggle way for some odd reason. But the meat would turn colors and cook. So I wondered what it would do if I put my hand in there. I didn't expect it to hurt as much as it did, but after a just a split second burn marks had appeared and the pain had stopped.

Blisters appeared, and they did hurt, but I liked it.

By that point I just did it for myself. Playing with random things throughout the house that could possibly make beautiful designs. I did put hairspray once on a normal cut, they say it makes the wound elevate. It was fun at the beginning, but things faded out, and I found new, more dangerous habit. The designs became bigger, the cuts became deeper, and the degrees of burn increased. Now, I end up here, out of enjoyments. Even when my father found out, he only laughed and made it worse. If I can't even get love from the ones that created me, how was I to get it from anyone else?

So, I return to the starting statement. I don't want this life.

And with that, it was decided. Though I didn't know if I could kill myself with a heated blade, because before it would just hurt more and stop the bleeding. But, a small rush of adrenaline pumped through my body. I wanted to try it anyway. And the great part was...if I failed, I could always finish it off with the common, yet successful ways of suicide. I wanted to at least add a little Malfoy spice to it. If the spice fails, then I'll just stick with the old.

I swiveled the curtains around my bed and placed the same spells as last night on them. I placed the flame on the metal until it got hot enough. I hovered it over the pale skin; seeing the blue veins underneath. I let out all my air and slashed it. I saw the blood leave my left wrist, not sure of what to do.

Do I just lay here until I die…is it supposed to hurt?

But my eyes did get hazy, watching the scenery swirl together. I looked back at my wrist; the blood had made a good sized puddle around my hand, but it was no longer pouring out as much, it had slowed down due to the rising and swelling of the skin by the second degree burns. I didn't care at that point; I was too tired to care.

So I let my eyes close, my thoughts drifting away from me, leaving unanswered questions.

I feel no pain…is suicide painless?

Will I wake up after this?

Is it bleeding enough?

But they ended soon after.

I lost my sight, and my breath slowed down…

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Alright, that was Chapter 3!!! Hey, the spelling and sentencing is sooooo much better isn't it? I LOVE MY BETA!!! She's my savior. Happy me!!! Well please review, they make me happy.

Oh and the other day I saw Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban for only the second time. I'M STILL KIND OF PISSED WITH IT(okay, bit of an understatement). Maybe it's the new director. It was good and all, but for fucks sake, THEY MADE MALFOY A COWARD. I mean, yes at times he is, but they over did!!!! Would he have really cowered at Hermione's wand like that? And I'm sure her punch wasn't that good...pfft. Ugh…shoot me now.

Review or I'll take my raging anger of Hermione and the new director out on you. I warn you now that is a lot of anger…I'm fuming.

Suraka-chan


	4. Chapter 4

**Why Do You Even Care?**

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Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. Seriously if I did, Harry and Draco would have had a hot and steamy sex scene. It would be great…

Beta: fyrelement. I love her to death…she's the best ever!!!! Check out her stories and review, she's really amazing! Thank you fyrelement!!!

Hey Chapter 4…yah…I really like doing this fic. I'm pretty constant with my updating. Heh…that's a first. Thank you everyone who has been reviewing!!! It makes me move faster, truthfully. But, more importantly I love writing it and love the fact that you guys like it. So thanks bunches.

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**Chapter 4**

Draco woke up, the next morning with his back against his headboard. He looked around, realizing that he had lived to see another day. He groaned.

_Why did I have to live? _He sighed. _Well, next time they'll be no mistakes._

He glanced down at the deep, risen gash across his wrist. It had scabbed up now and horribly covered in dried blood. Looking around, he noticed that the side of his bed and part of his leg were stained a shade of red. He peeked his head out from the canopy and was relieved to see that his dorm mates were still asleep. As thankful as he was for that, the truth remained that he couldn't hide from them forever. Nor could he skip another day without a proper excuse, so he had to do something.

Draco did a cleaning spell to get the blood off on his sheets, but it drained him of most of his energy. He hadn't noticed how weak he had gotten. He struggled to move the curtain around his bed. His wrist started to burn and ache. It hurt him so badly. He snuck off into the boys' bathroom. He looked into the mirror, trying to figure out how he could hide the bruises on his face. Clothing could disguise the rest. Gazing into the mirror he could plainly see purple bruises and scratches. He wasn't swollen, but everything was still predominant.

_How the fuck am I going to hide them?_

He thought on it for a minute until it hit him

_GIRLS!!_

_Merlin, not in that way…but girls…_ He thought then continued. _How do any of them hide anything? That cover-up…make-up shit._ _It would work on my bruises. I would just have to steal it from someone…but who's as pale as me?_

In truth there were very few, he was paler than most of the people he knew, but there was this quiet second year.

_She puts on that cover-up, and she's very pale_. So with that thought, Draco silently slipped into the girl's dormitory.

_I think this is where she is…Sarah was it? Oh well…_ Draco saw her sleeping form and quickly opened her unlocked trunk. The trunk smelt heavily of perfume and nail polish. It took all of Draco's will not to cough or gag. He saw the item of interest… a small, skin colored tube.

_This has to be it!_ He paused, _it better be it!_

So he quietly shut the trunk and snuck back out into the bathroom. His breath was heavy now… he was so worn out. It took him a couple of minutes to gain enough energy to get up. Placing his hand on the sink he pulled, forcing his wobbly legs to comply. He fell once, on the first try, but the second time he got it.

In about thirty minutes the rest of the Slytherins would start to wake up. So Draco walked out of the bathroom, leaving the make-up there. He retrieved his uniform, shampoo, etc. and went back to the bathroom, out of breath once again. As quickly as he could possibly manage, he took a shower and then dried off.

Putting on his clothes, he then stared at the mirror. He held up the feminine products, repulsed, but he was desperate.

It took him a while, actually, and people had started to bang on the door and complain. Finally, Draco studied the mirror one last time, deciding he did a pretty good job. He slipped the products into his pockets.

You could still see the scratches, but the bruises, for the most part were hidden. He just kind of looked like he had been sick, which conveniently matched his excuse for yesterday's absence. His hair hung low…just a little above his eyes. He didn't feel like messing with it. He did one last check over himself before slipping on his customary Malfoy mask.

Draco took a deep breath and opened the bathroom door. "About time Draco!" Blaise yelled towards his friend as he started to enter the bathroom himself. He turned around to face the blond Slytherin, voice softening slightly. "Are you feeling better today?"

Draco was surprised at first, not thinking anyone would ask that, but he shook it off. "Yeah…I'm fine."

"Good, I'll have someone intellectual around today…can't get much out of Crabbe and Goyle except for 'food' or 'huh'…sad really." Blaise smirked and then closed the door.

Draco sighed as he made his way to the common room._ He's only sucking up for my money, nothing more. But Blaise was right about one thing…Crabbe and Goyle weren't exactly award winning conversationalists, to say in the least. I guess maybe I was a bit more entertaining then they were._ Draco caught his breath and decided to leave the Slytherin common room to roam the halls until breakfast began.

It started soon after, and he got a seat next to his 'friends'. By the end of the period, he had only nibbled at a single piece of bacon and sipped a glass of pumpkin juice. _Why am I not hungry? Everything I look at makes me feel worse._

Instead, he decided to scan the Daily Prophet, at least looking like he was doing something, but he hadn't read a damn word. The letters swirled together, and he felt his eyes flutter, but he managed to regain his composure before everyone had been dismissed to go to their first class.

They had Care for Magical Creatures. He got up and headed down the hallway; unaware of the stares he received from a sole Gryffindor.

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Draco managed to make it, though stumbling a couple times, but he achieved his destination still intact. His cut was increasing in pain and he hadn't had time to wrap it up after his shower.

Hagrid stepped out of his hut, mumbling something about playing with some type of creature; oh, it was a fairy. How pretty. The activity was just for fun; today was going to just be easy because it was the first class.

Harry had watched Draco arrive. He was moving about the place like he was drunk, limbs slightly wobbly. The Gryffindor watched the Slytherin gather around as the teacher instructed. Hagrid started class and Harry listened, understanding what they had to do, but when he glanced by over to Draco he saw that the blonde hadn't been paying attention in the slightest. He just stared at his hand like it was the most interesting thing in the world. Hagrid started to pair up people, and it happened to be a Gryffindor with a Slytherin.

" 'Arry why don't'ya be Malfoy's partner." He called out.

Harry outwardly groaned, but was secretly relieved. He walked over to the distracted teen, who hadn't noticed him coming, nor heard that Hagrid had paired them up.

"Malfoy… Malfoy!" Harry yelled right next to the zoned out boy. Draco shook his head, surprised to see him.

"Hmm?" Draco said, his response dulled by lack of energy.

"Hagrid paired us up? We have to just play with these little creatures all class, okay?" Harry said. Really the lesson was to get the pixies to get accustomed to people, not that they were hostile, but they were usually shy around them. _Usually_.

"Mmhm." Draco mumbled, not really in the speaking mood.

The Slytherin opened the crate next to him, the metal nails sticking out. The blond teen reached in and grabbed the friendly fairy. A small, sad smile spread across the boy's features as he played with the flighty being. She smiled and let Draco play with her wings as she danced on his palm. After awhile, she sat down and relaxed, tired from prancing around. Draco waved his other hand back and forth to give her a breeze. She smiled again.

The sight mesmerized Harry. Something was apparently wrong with Draco, other than the bruises. He looked as thought he was going to pass out right on the floor.

Not to mention the abrupt kindness and attention he was showing towards the fairy; the sight being quite foreign to Harry's green eyes. It seemed Draco liked to interact with the creature. It was kind of odd, after all the years Malfoy spent being a prick and cruel to everyone and everything.

And then…seeing him playing with one of the smallest of creatures while being almost loving, enjoyment evident on his face… It was a rare sight indeed, and nobody else had noticed it but Harry.

Harry slowly walked over to Draco and bent down next to him. Draco looked over, watching the raven-haired boy smile at the fairy and offer his hand to her. She bowed and accepted, gently flying over to the Gryffindor's slightly tanned palm. Malfoy watched Harry for awhile, as Harry had studied him.

Finally Harry looked over to his right and noticed the gray eyes staring at him. They couldn't break away. Harry could for once see the pain in Draco's normally fathomless eyes, he felt as though he was experiencing it himself. Draco could tell Harry was searching for answers.

Why am I not looking away? Why am I letting him see…me…not Malfoy, but Draco.

Suddenly a squeak was heard from directly in front of them. It had been the fairy, obviously wanting to catch their attention. They watched her motion for them to do something. She tried to push Harry closer to Draco, and though at first Harry was hesitant, the pixie huffed admonishingly and he gave in. Now their shoulders were touching. She smiled, but had more in store.

She flew over to the dark-haired boy's right hand and pulled it to go in front and in the center of the two. Then she flew over to they light-haired boy's left hand and put it directly next to Harry's, making them both stretch, closing the space between them.

She made them intertwine just the pinkies to make a bigger, kind of flat surface for her. She flew over and made herself comfortable. She pretended to be relaxing with her eyes closed, lying on both of their hands so they wouldn't move them. She smiled once more and squinted one eye to see the boys looking at each other once again. Then she closed her eyes again, inwardly giggling.

It had been a couple minutes now, that stubborn, cute fairy remained where she was. But when she tried to force Draco's hand to Harry's, the blonde felt the cut reopen slightly. But, Draco blew it off, thinking it wouldn't bleed too much or at all. He was still worn out and not feeling well, his mind muddled. Draco's eyes glazed over, and his head started to bob. He shook his head, trying hard to stay awake.

Harry noticed it. He had almost touched him when he heard a squeak come from their joined hands. Harry was the first to look. The fairy shook her hand, trying to get a red liquid off of her. Harry stared, realizing that there was a little bit of the crimson substance on his own hand. Following the source, he saw that it was coming from Draco.

Draco looked up around that time and saw what had happened. He saw the blood flowing onto his hand, seemingly coming out of nowhere as the wound was still hidden by his sleeve. He jolted up from his kneeling position, but his head couldn't take the sudden movement, and made the world spin round. Falling on the ground, debris puffing up around him, Draco felt a quick jolt of pain from his right hand.

He looked down and saw one of the nails from the crate had completely run threw his palm. Draco gazed dully at his hand, leaking blood. He dimly wondered how much more he could lose. Going on like this, he'd be a dry husk before the end of the month.

Why is it not hurting like it should? I have a fucking nail through my hand, and it's not hurting!

"Oh god Draco!" Pansy yelled as she pointed to the blood accumulating on the ground. Hagrid turned around and knelt by Draco's side, noting the small puddle at his feet.

I take back my last thought. DELAYED EFFECT. Damn, this does hurt. Bet you it's that big oaf's fat fingers that is the cause. That's the last time he touches me.

"Ye best get ov'r t'Madam Pomfrey's." Hagrid said hurriedly, shaking the Slytherin out of his trance. " Harry, take 'im."

Harry nodded and helped Draco up, slinging an arm over himself. They walked up the hill, leaving a trail of scarlet droplets behind them. Leaving the field, they turned around the corner of the school, heading the quickest way to the infirmary. As soon as they were beyond of the rest of the students' prying eyes, Draco fell to his knees once more.

"Draco!" Harry said alarmingly.

Draco put on his trademark smirk, though very weak. "That's the second time you've called me by my first name, Potter." He glanced up and looked into Harry's eyes, making the Gryffindor shiver.

"Come on Draco, we better get going…" Harry said softly, holding out his hand for Draco to clasp, which he refused. Draco gripped the nail, and with the little strength he still possessed, he jerked it out. The wound started to bleed even more. "Malfoy you shouldn't have done that, come on…we'd better go before you lose too much blood."

"Potter, just come here and hold out your wand. I can't do it too well to myself."

"Do what?" Harry asked, getting a bit worried.

"Aim your wand at my wound and say _Terminzis_." Malfoy said.

"But…shouldn't we let Madam…"

"No, I hate her and vise versa. Plus, it's an easy spell; you'll get it first try." Draco stated confidently.

"What will it do?" Harry asked.

"It'll stop the blood flow for awhile, but if not treated it'll wear off." He paused and looked at Harry sternly. " Just trust me on this one."

"I trust you as far as I can throw you Malfoy." Harry stated irritatingly.

Malfoy genially smirked, in what seemed like such a long time. "I'm quite light I'll have you know." He paused. "Come on just do it, please."

Harry gave in and pointed his wand at Draco's hand. "_Terminzis_!" A thin, white beam emitted from his wand, hitting the wound.

"Pretty good Potter." Draco smiled softly, examining his rival's work.

An awkward silence came and passed.

"Well, Draco, we still have to go and get it healed, so let's go." Harry insisted.

"Alright, but I'm not going to Madam Pomfrey." Draco pouted.

"Who else is going to heal that? I'm sure as hell not doing any more of your spells." Harry verbally pushed, but when he looked Draco again he was slightly horrified, yet amused…in an odd, corky kind of way. "Merlin Malfoy, are you five?"

Draco was pouting, still, and giving Harry 'the look', making the Gryffindor cringe

"Come on, that's an all-time low…is this how you get your way all the time? Malfoy, you're getting it healed and that's that!"

Malfoy looked at him and sighed. "Alright, if I must get it healed, let's at least go to Snape."

"You want Snape to do it…why? And doesn't he have class?" Harry inquired.

"He's an expert at healing potions and spells. He's the one who taught me all I know about them. And this, coincidentally, is his free period." Draco said. "Come on then." Harry reluctantly nodded. Draco attempted to get up, almost falling, when Harry, almost instinctively, caught him and helped him to his feet. Draco brushed himself off primly, but his eyelids fluttered. Harry wrapped an arm around Draco to help him walk. For most of the way neither of them spoke.

Harry couldn't stand being so quiet. He wanted to ask Draco a few questions, but he wasn't sure if he should. He was distracted completely and Draco knew it. Draco knew that they couldn't go much further without something being said, although Snape's door was just ahead of them.

"All right Potter," Draco took a second to catch his breath. " I know you've got something to say so just spit it out already."

Harry just looked up at Draco. Before, he knew exactly what he wanted to ask, but when given the chance, his mind blanked out.

"Well…it's just…" He was cut off by the door to Snape's classroom swinging open and revealing the Potions master himself. It took Snape a minute to take in what he was currently looking at. Finally he opened his mouth and eyed the boys oddly.

"Well, this would be a sight I never expected to see. May I inquire why Mr. Potter has his arm around you Mr. Malfoy?"

"Severus…" But Draco cut himself off.

Snape eyed him funny. "I told you not to call me that in front of other students."

"Sorry professor." He murmured.

Snape sighed and opened the door to his classroom. "Forget it Draco, come inside and tell me what's going on." All three of them entered the classroom and made themselves comfortable.

"So, what exactly do you need?" Snape questioned, still looking at Draco with uncertainty. _Something's different about him…_

"Nothing really, I just wondered if you could heal this, that's all." Malfoy tried to smile.

Harry grumbled in his chair_. Why is he being so fake? That's not how he was earlier. He's starting to piss me off. What the hell is up with him!_

"Why didn't you just go to Madam Pomfrey? It's her job to do these type of tasks, not mine." Snape glared. Draco just looked at him and alarmingly looked down at the ground and didn't move.

_What…was that?_ Snape thought, almost scared by the reaction of Draco. He would have normally made some sarcastic comment to annoy him or scowl under his breath… at least.

"Here Draco, let me take a look at it." The Potions Master said, then examined it and walked over to his cabinet to get about three different vials. While he was mixing them together, he questioned Draco further. "How did this happen?"

"I fell on an opened crate and onto a nail; it went straight through." Malfoy answered, trying to sound like he was fine.

"It's not like you to be clumsy." Snape stated flatly. He then walked over with the potion. "Now this particular one you pour directly on the wound. Now move back so I can do it." Snape had one of his arms on the back of Draco's chair. As the young Slytherin sat back, his cheek hit the side of Severus' arm. Once Draco had sat back, he poured it on the wound, and they watched as it closed up.

_Now three things are bothering me._ Harry thought, still staying completely quiet, grumbling to himself. _First off: Draco's a fucking liar and too good of an actor. Secondly: Is it just me, or do those two seem abnormally friendly? And thirdly: I'm feeling just a bit left out!_ Harry was huffing to himself, acting like a child who didn't get his way.

"Thanks Sev." Malfoy said, smiling to his teacher.

_For fucks sake… that just adds to number two…Sev? SEV?! Am I missing something here?_ Harry finally stood up, knocking over his chair.

"All right!" Harry said aloud, catching their attention. "Am I missing something? What is going on between you two?"

Malfoy hid his head on his knees and couldn't help but laugh. Snape turned around to clean the vials. "Merlin Potter, he's my godson!"

"Godson?!" Harry was in somewhat of a shock. Snape went on mumbling to himself over at the counter. Something about 'Just as idiotic as your father, god knows what you were thinking…' and a few other rants and colorful words.

Harry heard soft, barely audible breathing close by. Looking to his left, he noticed that Draco was asleep on his knees, still up in his chair. Harry sighed and stared at the Slytherin with hurt eyes. He wished he knew what was wrong.

"Why do you stare at him like that?" Snape asked, putting the now clean vials away.

"Oh, it's nothing."

Snape shook his head.

"You lie about as well as your father…when it was something he did wrong, he could lie like it was a sixth sense. But, when it was about something important, he couldn't hide it. You can't fool me Potter."

"I'm worried about him…" Harry answered truthfully. Snape was actually surprised he had said it.

"Why? I thought you of all people you wouldn't care an ounce about him."

"That makes two of us." Harry grumbled.

Snape looked at him strangely. "Well, what's bothering you so much as to worry about him?"

"I don't exactly know all the details. I just know something's up with him."

"Anything else?" Snape pressed.

_Yeah, the fact that he hasn't eaten, his face is covered in bruises, god knows where else, not to mention the mysterious blood coming from his arm, he's barely staying awake, his concentration level has been reduced to that of a gnats, he's quiet, and for the love of it all, he's been civil! That's right, no snide remarks to my face, none. He's drifting from his friends. He's done a complete 360 and it's driving me insane._

"No." Harry said curtly to Snape, not making eye contact. "Should I leave him with you Professor?"

"Yes, that's fine. I suggest you get back to class." Harry obliged, walking to the door. He took one last glance at the sleeping form of his rival, his enemy, and the one thing that wouldn't leave his mind, before he shut the door.

Snape shook his head. _You're a terrible liar Potter._

Harry fell against the back of the thick door. Placing his hand over his forehead, he let out an overwhelming sigh of concern.

_Damnit, I really do care._

Finally, he lifted his head up, only to see a long strip of empty corridors. Getting up and placing his hands in his pockets, he walked down the hallway. He glanced back one last time at the dark, polished wood.

_I'm going find out what's wrong with you Draco. And I'm not going to give up until I do._

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Okay, well, hope you enjoyed it. I'll have Chapter 5 up soon. Please review…or I'll send trained kindergartener ninjas on you. They're vicious…they'll kill on sight.

Suraka-chan


	5. Chapter 5

**Why Do You Even Care?**

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Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. Seriously if I did, Harry and Draco would have had a hot and steamy sex scene. It would be great…

Beta: fyrelement. I love her to death…she's the best ever!!!! Check out her stories and review, she's really amazing! Thank you fyrelement!!! Aw... I feel so mushy. Must... resist... urge... to... write... fluff…

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**Chapter 5**

Harry walked down the halls, not really paying attention to where he was going. He just watched his feet take one step in front of the other. He drowned out the rest of the world.

"HARRY!"

Said boy winced as he heard his name shouted into his ear.

"Bloody hell Ron, you didn't have to yell!" Harry said as he messed with his ear, trying to get the insistent ringing to stop.

"Well, we kind of already did, mate. Herm and I called to you about three times, but you didn't hear us." Ron said wrapping his arm around Hermione.

"What were you thinking about, Harry?" Hermione questioned, eyeing him suspiciously.

Harry looked at her and just smiled. "Oh nothing…just kind of tired I guess." _Does she always have to know everything? _He thought bitterly. Harry finally noticed that the other students were filing into the great hall. "Hey, let's go sit down, okay?"

Hermione looked at him, not satisfied with his answer, but she decided to let it go, for now. The trio sat down at their house table, with Hermione and Ron across from Harry. A smirk spread across Ron's lips. "I was meaning to ask you, mate, what ended up happening to Malfoy? Did the idiot cry?"

"Um… no he didn't. I just took him to Madam Pomfrey and he got his hand healed. That's all." Harry murmured trying to eat his food.

"Sorry you had to get paired up with him, and then had to take the wanker to the infirmary. Did the stupid git try anything? I bet you he'll try to get Hagrid fired again. Merlin! Few days in and he's already causing trouble." Ron said laughing, then drinking some Pumpkin juice. He swallowed it down to continue on with his childish ranting. "So, did you rub it in his face? I would have, it would have been great, I'd…"

"Just drop it Ron! He didn't try anything. All I did was take him to the infirmary. End of story." Harry snapped.

Ron was surprised, coughing slighting. "What's your problem?"

"Nothing…" _Heh__, yeah nothing you stupid thick headed git._"I'm just wound up. I've got to go meet Snape about now. He asked to see me about my project. I'll see you guys later." Harry got up, bringing a full plate of food with him.He sighed as he exited the Great Hall._ I hope he's still there. _Harry thought as he headed to the Potion's classroom.

_I can't believe I was so cold towards my friends._ He realized on his way to the dungeons. _What got into me?_

Harry was about to reach the door when he suddenly saw white-blond hair turn the corner towards the Slytherin Common Room.

_Draco…_

Whirling around the same corner Harry saw the teen was halfway into the Common Room. "Hey Draco wait!" He called. Draco turned his head to face the worried looking Gryffindor.

"What do you want?" Draco questioned blandly.

"I uh…well…I…" _Stuttering, real good way to start the conversation!_ "It's just that I noticed that you weren't at lunch, and maybe you would like something to eat."

"I'm not hungry." Draco said as he walked further into the common room and started to shut the portrait. But as he did a force stopped the portrait from closing. The Slytherin glanced back as he saw Harry holding the door open, refusing to let him go in.

"Draco, please just eat." Harry pleaded, though he wished he hadn't sounded so pathetic.

"I said, I'm not hungry Potter." Draco spat.

"Damnit Draco stop being so fucking stubborn!" Harry bellowed.

"Oh yeah, you're the one to talk." Draco drawled.

Harry sighed and looked back up into cold, gray eyes. "Please Draco."

Draco eyes widened in horror. He thought he was going to faint. _Is the twit begging? The almighty Harry Potter begging? And just for me to eat! _Then, after a minute, the Slytherin exhaled. "Alright Harry, come in."

The Gryffindor hid a smile as he entered the Slytherin dorm. Secretly he loved the Slytherin Common room, not that he would ever admit it... For some reason it always seemed more welcoming, oddly enough. Dark, but nice. The Gryffindor Common Room was too... bright, too... _something_. He couldn't quite place his finger on it, but it just didn't always seem to fit him.

Draco sat down on one on the black, leather chairs. Harry sat in an identical one directly across from him with only a table in between. The Gryffindor looked around…anything to keep his eyes away from Draco. But whoever said he could control them was wrong. They landed on the lone Slytherin, looking at his thin body, and then looked up at Draco's face. He couldn't see the bruises, but he knew they were there. Then he glanced over to his slender fingers. The same hand he had been against. The same one that had bled onto his own hand.

Harry shook out of his deepening thoughts. He placed the plate on the perfectly carved wooden table, and then slid it to Draco. The light-haired teen looked down in something akin to disgust.

"Listen Harry, I ate this morning, and the potion Snape gave me has made me lose my appetite. Not to mention I'm tired, so maybe you should…"

"Stop lying to me Draco!" Harry yelled. Draco eyes shot up, only able to stare. "I can't keep it in any longer! I didn't tell anyone about your bruises. I haven't told anyone that you've not eaten in days! I didn't tell anyone that you were bleeding _before_ you fell onto the nail! I haven't told anyone that you're at the peak of exhaustion and you look like you're about to pass out with every step you take!"

"What are you, my fucking stalker?" Draco screamed back.

"What…did you think I wouldn't notice Draco? You haven't been with your friends, you've not done anything mean to one Gryffindor yet. You didn't even show up yesterday. Did you think I would just shove it off as nothing? Something happened to you…something big, and you're not telling anyone."

"And what did you think Potter? That I'd tell you? Of all people in the world, why the fuck would I tell _you_? What gives you the bloody right to spy on my life, to analyze it? Not everyone has the positive fame you receive constantly. Not everyone has it as good as you!"

"I didn't ask for any of that bullshit! I hate all the publicity I get. I would do _anything_ to get rid of it! I would just like one fucking moment of my life to not be in the papers. ONE FUCKING MOMENT!" Harry fumed.

"Oh but Harry, you're our Savior from the Dark Lord! What would we ever do without you?" Sarcasm and bitterness coated each and every syllable.

"Fuck everyone else, I don't care about Voldemort! They can get off their useless asses and do it themselves! I am so _sick_ of being everyone's hero!" Harry yelled. "I'm tired of everyone trying to pity me, treating me as though I deserve this! I just want a normal life! What I wouldn't do to have loving parents like yours."

**And that hit a nerve.**

Draco's eyes narrowed to slits. "Get out! Now!"

Harry snarled. "Oh what, did mummy and daddy forget to get you everything you wanted? Did they only spend 900 galleons on your wardrobe when they were supposed to spend 1000, hmm?"

**That was the last straw.**

Before Harry could comprehend what was happening, a fist flew into his cheek, making him fall back onto the floor. Harry looked up, glaring daggers, but his eyes only widened in surprise as he saw blood dripping from Draco's now exposed wrist. He watched as the crimson liquid dripped unto the polished floor. Harry examined it and saw the wound. It wasn't a cut one received from hitting something, or slipping. It was self-inflicted.

The blood was starting to stream out now. " Draco…you…"

"Get out _now_ Potter!" Draco hissed. Harry got up, inching closer to Draco only to be smacked away. "Don't you start pitying me now. You told me what you thought of me. I'm a spoiled, lucky, rich prat! Prat, _right_? Get out before I send one of my many bought slaves on you."

Harry could do nothing more but oblige the command given. He went over the portrait and swung it open, but before he shut it, he pulled out his wand and aimed it at Draco. The Slytherin had no time to react.

"_Terminzis_!" Harry yelled in desperation, then catching one last glimpse of the blond Slytherin he shut the door and ran down the hall to get away. He wasn't sure where, but he just had to get away from here.__

Draco looked down at his wrist and was surprised at how well Harry had cast the spell. The more feeling put into a spell in general, the better it works out. Examining his wrist, the spell had done more than stop the blood flow for a time, it scabbed it over.

_Why is this happening to me?_ Draco screamed in his mind as he threw the plate of food at the wall, causing glass and humbugs to disperse across the polished floor.

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**Harry's POV**

From that point, things went downhill. Draco and I now have had zero interaction. I tried a couple times to get near him, but he would always run off. He couldn't understand that I only wanted to help.__

And with each passing day it gets worse. I watched Draco at meal times. He ate, though never much, so at least I felt a bit relieved. I still haven't told anyone, which I know is wrong…but he is right.

What right do I have to analyze his life? 

Draco had sliced himself up. Cut it intentionally and when you really took a good look at it, it was deep. Very deep. That may have been more than a cut. Could he have possibly tried to…

No… Draco? _Suicide_? No…

Thinking again, I wondered if it was partially my fault. For always ridiculing him, calling him a death eater, turning down his friendship first year. But, I know deep down I can't blame myself.

Maybe I've been wrong about him all this time. I know _Malfoy_, but I'm not so sure I know _Draco_.

I just wish I could do something. I mean, obviously I can, but I don't know how to approach the situation. I want to talk to him first. If I'm forced to, I'll go to someone else, but he would hate me further if I tattled. You'd think that wouldn't bother me, after years of our immature rivalry, but it does.

It _really_ does.

I had decided not to tell only because I know how good of an actor Draco can be. He could convince anyone about anything. I would do no good. Plus, would anyone believe me if I told? That the Narcissistic, Prince of Slytherins marred his perfect skin with a self-inflicted wound? I'm the only one who knows…and the only one who can help.

_I must get to him._

And with that thought…I've decided it comes down to force. It's been a little less then two months, and he refuses to even look at me. Today is Friday, and we have Potions last. Right after class, I'm going to pull him aside, willingly or not.

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Well, there's chapter 5! Yah, I've been writing this story like crazy. I have 5 other chapters finished, but I have to be kind to my beta and not over exhaust her. They'll be posted. Please review, they're what make me write faster! That and coffee…

But that's beside the point.

Review!

Suraka-chan


	6. Chapter 6

**Why Do You Even Care?**

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Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. Seriously if I did, Harry and Draco would have had a hot and steamy sex scene. It would be great…

Beta: fyrelement. I love her to death…she's the best ever!!!! Check out her stories and review, she's really amazing! Thank you fyrelement!!!

Yah, chap 6 and it's up quicker than usual. Thanks to fyrelement, she was quick. YAH!! Enjoy the Chapter and thank you all for the coffee…mmm…speaking of which…

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**Chapter 6**

Potions class passed by, as it usually did. Harry didn't pay attention… it wasn't like it was much of a change from any other day. He watched the blond Slytherin's every move; every step. He wouldn't let him out of his sight.

"Alright." Snape growled. "Class dismissed."

Snape disappeared into his private office as the students filed out silently, missing the sight of Draco dropping his books clumsily as he tried to rise. The Slytherin gathered them messily, scowling, and glanced up, to meet the sight of blazing green eyes immobilizing him.

"Potter." Draco spat, "what do _you_ want."

"Will you come talk with me…please?" Give him a warning first, Harry thought.

"No." Draco stated quickly, but as he tried to maneuver around Harry, his passage was blocked. "_Move_ Potter!"

"You're talking with me, _now_." Harry demanded, arms folded across his chest defensively.

"Oh, and what, you're going to make me?" Draco laughed, but the sound faded away as he realized it was not a joke. "Harry I have no need to talk to you!"

"Yes you do, there are a lot of things you need to talk about!" Harry pressed.

"I know what you know, alright fine, whatever…but why do you care about it? What do you think you could possibly do to help me?" Draco said angrily, glaring at the persistent Gryffindor.

Harry froze.

"Do you really think you could fix my problems? Come to my rescue? Protect me from myself? Ha!" Draco mused, "Harry, this is none of your concern."

"It _is_ my concern! I want to help!" Harry yelled.

"No you don't! You want me dead, you just don't want my blood on your hands. You don't want to feel guilty… thinking it was your fault for my actions!" Draco yelled back.

"Draco, you're coming to talk with me!" Harry demanded once more.

"I will only say this one more time, Potter. Get. Out. Of. My. Way." He threatened, emphasizing every syllable.

Not even listening to Draco's threat, Harry grabbed the blond teen's right arm and pulled him out of the classroom and down the now empty hall.

That's when Draco's reactions pulled a 360. "No Harry stop it please, stop! You're hurting me! I don't like being forced…_STOP_!" Draco cried.

Harry turned to look at Malfoy, and he didn't expect to see what he did. Draco's eyes showed that he was terrified and his body was shaking. Harry immediately let go and Draco fell back onto his back.

"Draco…" Harry murmured as he held a hand out to help him up, but Draco only responded by backing up until he hit the wall.

"Please, don't hurt me…" Draco's fear rose.

Harry couldn't believe what he was seeing. How could he possibly respond to this? He looked so hurt…so weak. _I just want to help him…I just…_

"Just get away from me…" Draco begged, looking away.

"But…"

"No…just go…" Draco started.

Before Harry could comprehend what he was doing, he dropped to his knees and wrapped his arms around Draco. The dark-haired boy placed his head in between the light-haired boy's neck, to where his eyes were facing the wall.

"I wouldn't never dream of hurting you." Harry said, and Draco wrapped his arms around Harry's waist and cried into his shoulder.

"But…you…_hate_ me." Draco sniffled. "You…just want…me…d-dead…like…everyone else."

And all the Gryffindor could do is sooth him with little nonsense words, while rubbing his back with his hand.

What happened to you Draco? What happened to have made you break down and cry? 

About twenty minutes had passed and Draco's body began to ease, his shaking slowing, his tears ceasing. "H-Harry…" Draco sniffled out.

"Yes?"

"It's just…" Draco started, but struggled. Harry noticed and interrupted.

"Hey, why don't you come with me for a bit? I know this empty room that Dumbledore used to stick me in ever so often when he thought it was too dangerous for me to stay in the Common room. Couldn't bear to lose his Wonder Boy." He mocked. "But, we can go there. I'm the only one who knows the password." He paused again, standing up and holding out his hand to the hesitant blond teen. "So, will you come with me?"

Draco was wary at first, but he slowly took hold of Harry's hand. The raven-haired boy smiled and helped him up.

They headed down this secluded hallway, that wasn't often used. They turned a few corners and reached their destination.

It was a portrait, of a girl with glittering wings sitting upon a gnarled tree stump in the middle of a secluded forest. Her clothes were like the midnight sky, and her eyes were a brilliant shade of purple, framed by shiny sable locks. A raven with glowing yellow eyes was perched on her forearm, nipping at a delicate ear. At her pet's actions, she giggled and smoothed its silky feather.

As the boys stepped closer, the raven glanced over at them and the girl looked up. She smiled sweetly. "Hello Harry." Her voice rang in an echo, sounding heavenly like wind chimes in the early morning. "Who's your friend?"

"This is Draco." Harry replied softly, nodding to his companion.

The girl looked at the blond Slytherin with curious eyes. "You seem sad, why?" Draco didn't respond, looking down at his feet.

"Harmony, Draco will be allowed into this room from now on." Harry said, smiling at her.

"That's fine, I wouldn't mind seeing him more often. Would you like to go in now?" Harmony questioned, gesturing.

"Yes, if you don't mind." Harry stated, glancing over at the silent Slytherin.

"No, not at all. Password?" She chimed.

"Revadenia."

She nodded and swung open for them. They boys stepped inside and was surprised to see a good sized room, with a bathroom, a queen sized bed and a small study area.

"Green and black?" Draco questioned, trying to loosen the tension between them.

"Always preferred those colors I guess." Harry answered nonchalantly.

"Would have been happier in Slytherin then." Draco stated, though half thinking he would be appalled at the thought.

"Probably," He paused and glanced at his red robes. "Gryffindor just dies out after awhile."

"What do you mean?" Draco asked.

"I don't know, it's just that everyone's expectations of me are so high, and you get along and cope, but it seems fake. They believe it's my destiny to be their Savior, and they are blind to everything else." He sighed as he looked at the open curtains on the window.

"Sick of being someone you're not." Draco answered knowingly.

"Exactly." A wave of silence passed, both not sure of what to say. In that time, Harry had walked over and sat down on the bed. He offered a spot next to him, but Draco declined. Instead, he sat down on a chair close to the side of the bed. For a long time, they just looked at each other.

_I just want to help you, Draco._

"Draco," Harry began, "what happened to you?"

The blond teen flinched at the question, unsure of what to say. He didn't want Harry to know, or anyone for that matter. He fidgeted restlessly, the silence grating. Finally, nervousness got the best of him, as he started to trace his almost completely healed cut on his forearm. Running it back and forth, making small shockwaves of pain up his arm, but he didn't seem to notice. His thumb was getting rougher, moving quicker; pressing harder, causing the skin underneath to be yanked. It was still a thin layer of skin, so little rips appeared, as though a needle had been pressed in. Little droplets of blood started to prickle out.

Harry took notice and slid off the bed. Grabbing the frantically rubbing hand, he ended its rapid actions. "Draco may I look at it?"

Draco vacillated answering, but Harry had such gentle hands, soothing him, rubbing his palm lightly with his thumb. Finally, he nodded as he pulled off his heavy cloak. Draco rolled up his sleeve up to his elbow. Harry took it in his hand and looked at it with concerned eyes.

The Gryffindor examined the diagonal cut, though more vertical if anything. It stretched from the top left of his wrist to about three-quarters down his forearm, following the largest vein, ending on the right side. It must have been a good six inches. He frowned even more, noticing the little red droplets coming out from the middle. Harry could see that it had been deep, and that it could, and probably should have been lethal.

"Why?" Harry inquired, moving his gaze from the wound to dull silver-gray eyes. He didn't answer.

_Don't shut me out Draco, please don't shut me out._

"Draco, I just want to help. I don't want to hurt you further. I don't want to tell anyone or use this against you. I just, want to be there for you. I can't explain why…I just…want to." Draco looked at him and could only nod against Harry's intense stare. Harry sighed. "Draco, were you trying to… kill yourself?"

Draco looked over in the other direction. At first, the Gryffindor thought he wasn't going to answer again, until he heard a faint voice speak up. "I was hoping to, though I wasn't sure it would work, but I knew if I failed I could just do it again."

Harry took a sharp intake of air. _How can he be so calm about this?_ Harry looked down at the ground and then back at the blond-haired teen.

"Do you still want to?"

This time, there was no prolonged answer. Draco just rotated his head to face Harry's; gray into green.

"Yes." He stated plainly.

_Oh Draco, please don't be like that. I won't let you go, you can't._

Harry took in a deep breath, holding it in for a second, and then letting it out. But the tightness in his lungs wouldn't cease, he felt tears prickle at his eyes. He was not willing to let them show, he let them sink back in, hiding them from view, though his eyes still appeared glassy. "Have you done something like this before?" _Please say no…_

"Yes." His lifeless words ringing in Harry's words. There was no pitch to his voice, no change; just one monotonous sound. He'd rather have Draco yelling.

"Will you show me?"

"I…I can't…I…" Draco stuttered, fidgeting; falling into the leather chair.

"Please Draco…" Harry started.

"Why do you want to help me so bad? Why do you want to know?" Draco wondered. _Why would anyone want to help me, especially you?_

Harry landed on the bed, face fell into his hands and his body started to tremble. He pulled up his knees for support, and Draco could make out small sniffles. Harry pulled up to face Draco once more.

"I don't know. I really don't know. I just know I do. I just wish I could take away whatever happened to you. I just wish I could make it disappear. I want to make you happy again, even if that brings back the sarcastic narcissist. I just want you to be okay. And don't ask me to explain it, because I can't." Tears fell down Harry's cheek.

Draco was in shock, probably on the brink of a coma. _He's crying? _

_For me?_

Draco watched as Harry put his head back onto his knees, covering his face with his arms. Without Harry's knowledge, Draco slipped off his customary vest and then loosened the house-supporting tie. One button at a time, he undid the white shirt, letting it loosely fall onto the chair. Lightly, making almost no noise, Draco strode over to the raven-haired boy. With no words, he removed Harry's arms from around his knees and lifted his head up with a finger by Harry's chin.

Harry slowly took in the sight. Draco was pale, yet it suited him, making him look godly, untouchable. Well built, yes, but in the same sense thin, slender. A few of his bottom ribs could be seen.

But, the reality was also there. Numerous scars could be seen across his arms, shoulders, chest, and stomach. Though, various engraved designs could be made out. They ranged from snakes and dragons, to roses and moons. So many designs. So many scars. They weren't bright, or elevated, they were just faint, silken scars, glistening in the light. Two marks on his chest stuck out, they didn't look too old, the slight pink still colored the marks.

Harry's feet dropped to the floor and he stood up, inches from Draco. He held up his hand to the boy's chest, tracing the two scars; Draco shivering under his touch. He looked down further, to his side and he saw freshly scabbed ones, probably done in the past two months since they had spoken. Harry reached to the slightly taller teen's forearms. He looked at one, and then the other. Both with fresh cuts, not near as bad as his wrist, but they still looked dreadful. There was a skull on his left arm, and a scythe on his right.

"L-listen Harry, I'd better go," Draco said as he slipped his white, button up shirt back on. Grabbing his books from the table and the rest of his clothes, he walked to the portrait door.

"Draco wait!" Draco felt a warm feeling reach his hand. When he looked back he saw Harry's hand intertwined in his, pleading eyes pulling him in. "Please don't go Draco!" He cried in urgency. "Just stay, please. Stay here, with me. Just for tonight. I want to be here for you, I want you here so I can protect you."

Draco's eyes fell. "Do you really think you can protect me from myself?"

Harry knew that he couldn't. "I know, I can't watch you all the time, it's just, I want you here. I want you to feel safe."

_He wants me to feel safe…_Draco thought. "Are you going to be staying with me?"

"Yes, I'll sleep over on the coach, you can have the bed." Harry let go of Draco's hand, letting his fall to the side.

The Slytherin sighed, setting down his stuff once more. "Alright, I'll stay."

A sweet smile spread across Harry's features as he watched the blond pick up a book from his pile. Draco reached into his cloak, grabbing his favorite lighter and a pack of cigarettes. He climbed into the bed and kicked off his shoes. After pulling a drag from the pack, and a few clicks later the fire from the well embroidered lighter lit. Placing it against the fresh nicotine stick, lighting it to where the end was a bright orange. With a sigh, Draco relaxed after a couple puffs. He picked up the book and started to read it.

With a grin plastered on his face despite the smoke that was lingering in the room, Harry grabbed a quill and started the homework from Divination.

For the rest of the night, neither of them spoke. The hours passed, Draco had continued to read the whole time, only lighting one other cigarette that night. Harry had switched from homework to solitary games to drawing pathetic doodles. They looked like a child's work. When Harry took a glimpse at the clock, it read 11:52pm. He maneuvered his eyes over the bed, seeing that Draco had fallen asleep.

Harry got up and quietly walked over to him. The dark-haired teen could make out faint, even breathing; his chest rising and falling with the book on top. The Gryffindor picked up the book, keeping his place and set it on the table. He leaned over and gently moved the blond locks from his eyes to behind his pierced ears. Carefully, he pulled the covers up over his body, and then flicked off the lamp next to him.

Walking over to the portrait hole, Harry flicked off the main light for the room. He made his way to the couch, his path only lit by the moonlight, and laid down on the smooth, wide leather coach. He pulled up the spare blanket and wrapped up into a warm bundle.

"Goodnight Draco." He whispered as his eyes fluttered shut and he fell into a deep sleep.

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I love my beta…hah…I'll show you exclamation marks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ha! Take that!

Anyway, I hope you liked and please tell me what you think, really helps me get going, though I believe she begs to differ. Heh, so I'm a bit ahead…Well, thank you everyone who has reviewed, in the past, I cant even begin to write out the names. I love each and everyone of you in an odd, corky kinda way! Yah go me!

Please Review!

Suraka-chan


	7. Chapter 7

**Why Do You Even Care?**

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Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. Seriously if I did, Harry and Draco would have had a hot and steamy sex scene. It would be great…

Beta: fyrelement. I love her to death…she's the best ever!!!! Check out her stories and review, she's really amazing! Thank you fyrelement!!!

Hi everyone. I am so close to 100, it hurts. YAH! I LOVE YOU GUYS FOR REVIEWING AND GETTTING ME THERE! I'M SO HAPPY! KEEP IT UP! Ah, well, everyone, this is my attempt at humor. Enjoy!

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**Chapter 7**

The sun peeked through the open curtains, shining into Harry's closed eyes. He writhed underneath his warm blanket as his eyelids slowly fluttered open. He cursed the sun under his breath while shielding his eyes, waiting for them to adjust to the brightness. After about a minute he glanced over at the four-post, queen-sized bed, seeing a figure still in it.

Quietly, Harry walked over to the sleeping Slytherin. Draco was sprawled across the bed in reckless abandon, his usually immaculate hair was tangled and all over the place. A few strands lay across his face, some over slightly parted lips. His breathing was smooth and regular. He looked so peaceful, so unlike himself in the conscious world.

Harry thought it would be best to let him sleep, so he tiptoed to the bathroom to take a shower. The Gryffindor stripped off his clothing and started the water. The steam rose and Harry placed on foot inside. He released a sigh from his still tired lungs Closing the curtain, he flicked on the showerhead, letting the water stream down his face and chest. The water soothed him, but he couldn't forget the night before.

All the scars. I couldn't believe how many there were. And those designs…were they cut in, or something different? I just can't understand how he could do that to himself. I wonder how long he's been doing it. He did some while we were fighting too…I just…don't know what to do. He's right…

_I can't protect him all the time._

_And he had answered me so clearly._

**-Flashback- **

_"Draco, were you trying to…kill yourself?"_

_"I was hoping to, but I wasn't sure it would work, but I knew if I failed I could just do it again."_

_"Do you still want to?"_

"Yes."

**-End Flashback-**

How do I respond to that? He wants to die…how can I help him? I'm so confused…

Harry squeezed his right hand into a fist, knuckles white, nails digging into his palm, and without thinking he slammed it into the tile wall. He felt the old substance crack and chip at the impact. He felt the shards slice against his knuckles; the blood running down his forearm and then dripping into the hot water. Harry bit his lip as he pulled his fist back; a few pieces of the old tile fell, getting stuck around the drain. He looked at his reddened knuckles and fingers. Small, yet somewhat deep cuts were randomly dispersed across them. He got cleaned up, ignoring the pain coming from his hand when the soap had hit his hand. The bleeding had stopped.

Getting out, he dried his slightly tan body off and wrapped the towel around his waist. He looked around and cursed, realizing he had left his clothes outside. Deciding he would just go out and get some, Harry reached for the door, closing his hand into a ball. A stronger jolt of pain hit his hand and used it to turn the doorknob. Thin, crimson lines appeared along the fresh incisions, but the surface tension didn't break, so no need to worry.

When he entered the room, steam flowing out behind him, he saw a movement on the bed. Then his ears caught faint whimpers coming from that direction. Without thinking, Harry bolted over to the bed. His eyes fell as he saw that Draco was having a nightmare, murmuring incoherent, panicky words.

Harry slowly let his hand move closer to the blond's cheek. Only centimeters apart, but he flinched a little at the sound that escaped Draco's lips. "Please... No… Lucius."

"Lucius?" Harry whispered. Then a sharp intake of breath was heard and Draco sat upright in his bed.

His breath was erratic as his eyes were wide and unadjusted to the light. He saw the silhouette of a figure, darkened by the light behind him. But, as his pupils widened, he could make out smoldering emerald eyes and jet-black hair.

"Harry?" Draco questioned timidly, tense.

"Yes." Harry paused and saw the teen relaxing. Hearing him mumble the words 'just a nightmare'. Harry wondered, "In your nightmare…um…what was happening?"

Draco hesitated and looked around for something to change the subject with. When he looked down, a slight blush appeared across the Slytherin's ashen cheeks. "Harry, why are you in a towel?" It seemed all the tension from last night had been lost.

Harry frowned at first, knowing Draco was avoiding the question, but when he glanced down at himself, sure enough, he was still in his towel. He immediately started stuttering. "Uh…well…I took a shower…and I forgot my clothes out here…and then you were making noises…and I went to check…so I didn't have time to get my clothes on, so…yeah."

"Ah." Is all Draco could say. _Why am I blushing? _Then suddenly Draco's eyes widened and he started to shift and fidget on the bed. He was getting distinctly uncomfortable.

_THAT'S why I'm blushing!_

"Draco, are you okay?' Harry questioned at his rival's odd, jerky actions and ashen face. He wondered if Draco was feeling alright.

"Yeah, yeah…I was just thinking a shower would be nice…yep…so I'm going to go take one. Can I borrow some clothes?"

"Sure…" Harry answered strangely, unsure of how to react to Draco's erratic behavior. He leaned over, keeping his towel on, and grabbed an outfit for Draco out of his spare trunk in the room. "Here."

Draco accepted the clothes and bolted to the bathroom locking the door behind him. "Nice cold shower." Draco mumbled to himself in the bathroom.

_This is just wrong. Harry? No, it's because its early, yep early mornings can do that to you._

Draco removed his clothing and cursed as he looked down. He turned on the water and let it run cold.

----------

About twenty minutes later, Draco immerged from the bathroom in Harry's clothes. When Harry glanced up from the Slytherin's book, he was almost a little worried. He himself was already quite skinny, but the clothes on Draco were a bit too big for him. _I wish he'd eat more._

"What are you looking at, Potter?" Draco then glanced over to Harry, who was currently on the bed, and then to the book in his hand. "Is that my book?"

Harry flipped over the title and laughed a bit. "Yes, it's quite good too, though I didn't know you were into the whole romance novel thing."

"Give me that." Draco demanded.

"No, I'm just getting to the part where Logan is seducing Karen." Harry said, smirking at the pages.

"I'm serious."

"So am I, I want to see what happens." Harry insisted.

"Potter!" Draco growled.

Harry smirked. "Well, you seem a bit more energetic this morning, sleep well?"

"Fuck you Potter..., and actually I did sleep well." Draco huffed.

Harry smiled and then lifted the book back up to his face. His eyes darted back and forth, proving that he was reading. Suddenly Harry felt a force drag the book away from its position down to his lap. A smirk spread from ear to ear across Draco's face and then he pulled roughly on the book. Harry complied by quickly snatching it back and jumping away from the Slytherin.

"Give it here you git!" Draco yelled.

Harry only laughed and jumped away from the advancing pounce.

"_Logan then walked over to Karen, pushing a strand of hair behind her ears. He leaned his body against hers, pinning her against the chilled door._" Harry read from the book, fueling Draco's aggression.

"Harry!" Draco screamed, diving towards the Gryffindor, missing by inches.

"_Karen wasn't sure of what to do at first, but Logan leaned his head forward to where their lips were just a hair apart, feeling one another's tickling hot breath. Finally, for what seemed like hours, Lagan closed the space between them causing Karen to gasp into his mouth. The kiss started out slow and languid, but…_mmph!"__

Draco had dived from the floor onto Harry who was prancing on the bed. The Slytherin hit his target, forcing the Gryffindor to fall onto his back, and himself right on top. Draco straddled both sides of the dark-haired teen. "Alright, I won, so hand it over."

"Aw…just when it was getting good too." Harry teased.

"Ha, ha, now give it up." Draco said, holding out his hand.

Harry grumbled. "Oh alright." While handing it over, Harry could feel Draco's hand brush is recently wounded one. He hissed at the skin-to-skin contact.

"What'd I…what happened?" Draco wondered out loud.

"Well you see…" Harry's words just drifted off, leaving the question unanswered.

"Oh wait!" An idea popped into his head. "Is that what happened to the tile in the shower?"

Harry fidgeted a bit and looked away. "Uh…yeah…that'd be it. And don't ask…"

Draco stared at him for a second about to question him, probably to be pushed to another depressing conversation, until he realized something. He hadn't felt this good; this relaxed in a long time. He did sleep well last night, better than he ever had. Ever since he was young, he never felt safe. Part of him knew he was, but the other was always afraid that _something _would happen. Last night, he slept the whole night through, no disturbances until the early part of the morning when his nightmare arose. He was in too far a good mood to question Harry.

"Uh…Draco…could you…kind of…" Harry started; blushing immensely as he tried to pull a sentence together. The warmth of the other boy was comfortable, and natural; not at all displeasing. But, being as that may, Harry wouldn't admit to that.

"Uh…yeah." Draco murmured; a shade of red coloring his pale cheeks. He then removed a leg from one side of Harry and then fell on his back. A silence passed again, they seemed to have a lot of those lately. Finally, Draco broke it. "You know, I should hate you."

Harry lifted one eyebrow as he leaned onto his side, propping his head on his good hand.

Draco continued. "I told you and showed you more than I have to anyone else and you're my bloody rival. We've been uselessly fighting for six years, and you'd think I'd hate you."

"Well, do you?"

"Do I what?" Draco played dumb.

"You know, do you hate me?" Harry questioned, leaning closer to the light-haired teen.

Draco looked at Harry, his smile, his eyes, hair, body…every little detail available for one's eyes, and then, looking to the window he replied. "I don't know. Do you hate me?"

Harry almost exactly repeated Draco's previous actions, eyeing the boy next to him. "I don't know either, but I don't think so."

"It's weird." They both said in sync. Glancing at one another, a smile spread across each other's features until they both burst into a fit of laughter.

The hilarity slowed and they sat on the bed with tears prickling the sides. Harry leaned back up on his side like before and faced Draco. "What?" Draco asked when he felt a warm gaze upon him.

"Nothing…well, it's just that…it's great to see you smile." Harry responded truthfully. Draco looked at him funny and Harry went to explain further. "I don't know, it just seems to suit you more. Maybe it's just because I'm so used to your glares or frowns. I've just always seen you laugh menacingly…never just, everyday laughter."

Draco smirked, and watched as Harry rose. He stretched revealing his lower abdomen and then exhaled. "Well, are we friends?" Harry said abruptly, no warning at all, and extended his hand.

He smiled and Draco could do nothing but return the gesture. "Seems so." The Slytherin accepted the Gryffindor's hand.

"Well, it's about lunch time, it looks like we slept through breakfast." Harry said, staring at his new friend. "Will you…"

But before Harry could finish his sentence Draco cut in. "I promise to eat…more than I usually do. Satisfied?" Harry could only nod. The boys exited the comfortable confinements of the room. They went down the path they had came from and found their way at the entrance of the Great Hall. When they looked around there were Orange and Black decorations littering the walls.

"Oh, it's Halloween today. I completely forgot." Draco stated looking around.

"Jeez, Halloween already, slipped my mind too." Harry paused. "Hey Draco…" Harry started, shifting his feet.

"Hm?"

"Well, I was wondering, would you come back to the room tonight? You know stay again…or you don't have to stay I guess, just for awhile or maybe…"

"Calm yourself Potter. And anyway, why would you want me back? I did nothing but read." Draco inquired towards the talking impaired Gryffindor as of late.

Harry looked and Draco, trying to seem calmer than he felt. _Merlin I'm fidgeting! _"Well, I enjoy your company."

Draco was shocked by the openness, but had one further question. "What about your Gryffindor buddies, won't they miss your presence? Especially Granger and Weasley."

"Them…" Harry stated flatly, rolling his eyes. "They're friends, just, they're annoying. Plus they've got each other to snog. Actually I'm kind of glad they go off alone, finally gives me time for myself. What about you and the whole Slytherin house?"

Draco eyed him and frowned. "They'll be fine. They often bore me anyhow. You try getting a decent conversation out of Crabbe or Goyle, Blaise is cool I guess, but Pansy…she's not all there in the head. She clings to me like a magnet. Wouldn't mind the extra time to breath…unless _you're_ going to start clinging…" Draco made a face.

Harry snickered. "Don't get your hopes up."

"Damn, so excited too." Draco said, plastering his trademark smirk. "Well we best be off. See you after the Halloween Banquet?"

"Yeah, sure." They entered the Great Hall and quickly separated to their individual house tables. As usual, Harrry sat across from his friends. Picking up a plate, he started to grab some food, him being not that picky.

"Harry, where were you last night…and this morning? We couldn't find you anywhere!" Hermione spoke up.

Harry glanced up catching the eyes of a familiar Slytherin. Harry watched him grab a decent amount of food and slowly start to eat.

"Harry?"

Shaking his head, Harry looked back at his friends. "Hm…oh…um nowhere. Just off." Harry said, continuing to sneak glances at Draco, making sure he was actually eating.

_Oh Merlin! I feel like a worried mother. I'm loosing it. Truly loosing it._

"That's all you can say is 'just off'?" Ron bellowed angrily.

"Ron, I couldn't sleep last night, too much caffeine or something, so I just kind of roamed around the halls. Wasn't caught. I just skipped breakfast because I didn't feel like eating. Seriously guys, you're overreacting."

Hermione looked at her friend. "Harry…" She started.

"Yes Hermione?" Harry questioned, taking a drink.

"It's just, you've been acting, well, distant lately. I feel like I don't see you anymore." She said sadly.

"She's right mate, you're always 'just off'." Ron added.

Harry looked at them and thought back. _I guess I have been a bit distant, but so what? I'm doing stuff for myself for once and they're getting worried. God forbid I have a life of my own. _"Guess you're right. Oh and Happy Halloween." Is all Harry could say to his friends. No sorry, no explanations, just agreeing with them and wishing them a happy holiday.

They stared at him blankly. "Yeah, Happy Halloween." Ron grumbled.

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So, how was my humor? Tell me if it was okay, I am not a often humorous writer...looks at all the categories of her other fics Well, that was it, I will have Chapter 8 up soon. Sorry it took so long to post seven. My internet was being a bitch, but it's all fixed now! Yah!

PLEASE REVIEW, THEY GIVE ME INSPIRATION. And my muse, bob, thanks you for that. He's been sleep deprived and I have him tied to a chair. I poke him with pointed sticks until he gives me ideas. Poor guy. Well, Fridays and Wednesdays he's a girl, but that's beside the point.

Suraka-chan


	8. Chapter 8

**Why Do You Even Care?**

----------------

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. Seriously if I did, Harry and Draco would have had a hot and steamy sex scene. It would be great…

Beta: fyrelement. I love her to death…she's the best ever!!!! Check out her stories and review, she's really amazing! Thank you fyrelement!!!

Here's chapter 8! Yah! Thank you everyone for all my reviews!! They make me so Happy!! Well, not much else to say except prepare yourself and enjoy!

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**Chapter 8**

The Halloween Banquet was quick, nothing too special, just the same as every other year. Though, to everyone's delight and the teachers' dismay, Dumbledore gave out big bags of candy too each student.

"Something tells me it's going to be a long night Mrs. Norris, a very long night." Filch said unhappily, petting his precious cat near the Great Hall door.

"Alright everyone, enjoy yourselves, but do not leave the dorms. I expect no trouble-making tonight." He eyed the students for a moment and then continued. "You may return to your Common Rooms now."

Everyone filed out the doors quickly, but excitedly. It wasn't everyday one was given the opportunity for an all-nighter, without the prefects getting on one's arse.

Harry was walking with Ron and Hermione back to the Gryffindor rooms when he spotted an unmistakable blond haired boy pass by. Their gazes met. Draco broke it off first, leaving. Harry's mouth curved in a smile; he'd be meeting the other soon.

"Oi, this is great!" Ron said excitedly, waving the candy around.

"It's not like you need any more energy." Hermione rolled her eyes.

"I'm not so sure about that…" Ron said, smirking as he lowered his lips down to the nape of Hermione's neck.

"Ron!" She hissed, pushing him away, an apparent flush highlighting her cheeks. "Stop it!"

"You're no fun." Ron teased.

Harry took this as a good time to sneak away, but he only made it so far without his lack of presence being noticed.

"Hey Harry, where are you going this time?" Ron complained.

"I…uh…well…I'll see you guys later!" He said hurriedly.

"Harry wait!" They said in unison, chasing their mysterious friend.

Harry was already running while ducking corners and people. Feeling the lack of their footsteps, he knew they had lost him a while back. He moved down one last corner and there it was; his destination.

"Well, hello Harry." A kind voice chimed, a caw following shortly afterwards.

"Hello Harmony, did Draco make it here?" Harry questioned, through heavy breaths.

"Oh yes, he seemed better, but still sad. Are you helping him Harry?" Harmony was quite blunt in her ways, might have been part of her appeal.

"I'm trying to." He said earnestly.

She giggled, casting him a glance full of hidden innuendoes. "Password?"

"Revadenia…and why did you look at me like that?" Harry questioned her suspiciously, but his only answer was the portrait swinging open. He grumbled and entered the room. A cloud of smoke overwhelmed his senses as he stepped into the room.

"Y'know Draco, you could at _least _open a window." Harry stated, coughing, wrenching open the pane of glass that allowed some oxygen in. When he looked back over Draco was sitting on the bed, reading it seemed. When he looked up and felt eyes on him, he quickly threw the romance novel across the room.

Harry just stared at him, tilting his head to the side.

"Not a word Potter, not one damn word." Draco completed his drag and crushed it, throwing it in the trash.

Harry was starting to feel the effects of the syndrome commonly known as 'Sugar-High'. Being deprived of candy during his years with the Dursleys, he had built up little immunity to the disease and was struck hard. It seemed the Great-And-Famous-Harry Potter-Who-Must-Have-His-Name-And-All-Other-Words-Surrounding-It-Capitalized had a weakness. Before he fell to the effects of the illness, Harry harbored one last rational thought: _They should put warnings on candy..._

Suddenly, without caution, Harry did a running jump onto the bed, causing it to creak and sag.

"Potter! What the hell are you doing?" Draco demanded, though it seemed his only answer was Harry opening the sack of candy they were given. It was filled with all different types. The normal, joke type candy, but to Harry's surprise there was Muggle candy as well. Must have been Dumbledore's doing.

Harry fingers tingled and he moved them back and forth searching for a starter candy. He had proved it once with Ron sometime in the third year. He found one, a delicious muggle chocolate. He opened the wrapper rapidly and devoured the sweet in one bite. He smiled and started to giggle immediately.

Poor Draco's eyes were glued to the sight with horrified fascination. He wasn't sure if he should run, hide, or maybe if he didn't move, he wouldn't be seen. It was probably the absolute most terrifying thing he'd ever seen. Harry's age reduced by ten years and he was - for the love of Merlin - giggling.

_Giggling. That's a sight I thought I would _never _see._

But, by the time Draco escaped his thoughts, it seemed the green-eyed 'child' had eaten half of the bag.

"Merlin Harry, that's got to be a good quarter stone bag! I don't know how you did it! Hey! Are you listening to me? Harry! Would you take a break to breathe once in a awhile? HARRY!" Draco screamed, slightly panicky now.

"Hm?" Harry questioned, his mouth full of candy of all sorts. He chewed for a minute or so and swallowed. His eyes unfocused scarily. "Hey Draky! I was wondering why your not eating your candy! Did you know I love candy? Candy is so good… I could eat it all the time, I love it so, so much. It makes me happy! Are you happy? I bet your candy would make you happy!" Harry giggled, talking in a very fast, non-stop manner.

Draco's eyes widened in horror. _I would like to take back my last statement. Giggling is not the scariest thing I've ever seen. This is. And were there even words coming from his mouth?_

_And wait one minute! DRAKY! What the fuck?!_

"Did you just call me Draky?" Draco asked, making a face.

"That I did, I did!! I think it's cute! Draky, Draky, Draky!" Harry hummed.

"Cute!? Potter do you…"

"Oh! That makes me want to sing…Draky, Draky, Draky! Dum dee dum. Hm? I'm bored with that song, I need a new one. Do you know any songs? Do you like to sing? Oh! You have to try this candy, it's my favorite." Harry, at unreadable speeds stuffed the chocolate in Draco's mouth. "Is it good? Is it? Is it? Is it? Is it!" Harry bounced.

"Uh…other than the fact that you practically stuffed it down my throat, yes it is pretty good. Well, you know, I think it's getting pretty late, I'd better go." Draco said neutrally, keeping his tone even in case Harry too it in his head to contest that fact. He slipped his cloak on.

"NO! You can't leave me! I want you here! I'll get bored if you leave! Stay! PLEASE!" Harry pleaded, wrapping himself around Draco's leg.

"Oh for the love of…"

"DON'T LEAVE!" Harry screamed.

"Shh…alright! I'll stay! Just keep it down!" Draco looked down helplessly.

"YAH…er I mean yah!" Harry grinned. Draco could do nothing but sigh.

"Uh…Harry…would you mind getting off my leg?" Draco asked.

Harry made a disappointed face. "Oh alright." He said sullenly, slowly pulling himself from Draco. The blond Slytherin took his cloak off. He then kicked away his shoes and socks and undid his tie while slipping off his vest.

"Woohoo! Take it off!" Harry beamed, eating Draco's candy, for he had finished his own.

"Alright that's it, I am leaving." Draco said, as he was about to put his vest back on.

"No! You said you wouldn't!" Harry dived at Draco, knocking the poor boy over (again). He took Draco's shoes, socks, cloak, tie, and vest. He threw them into the bathroom and locked the door.

Draco just couldn't believe his eyes, the Gryffindor had the most extreme case of a sugar high he had ever seen! He's going to drive me to drink…okay well, I drink anyway…but you know. The light-haired teen glanced over and the crazed boy who was already back on the bed eating candy. When he looked next to him he saw Harry's empty bed. If he already finished his…and now he's trying to devourer mine. He CAN'T have any more candy!

"Alright Harry, you eaten plenty of candy, I'm cutting you off. Cold turkey." Draco was the one now tilting his head. He didn't know anyone could widen his or her eyes that much. His mouth followed suit. It was like Draco had told him someone died.

"Never!" Harry hissed. And not hissing by venomously, meaning hiss as he impersonated a cat.

"Harry come ON! You've had over half a stone of candy at least! Is that not enough?!" Draco yelled.

"Is there ever enough candy? And I really like candy! I don't want to stop!" Harry whined.

Draco was screaming in his mind, but he let it rest. Taking in a deep, deep breath and holding it for a while, he finally let it out. Draco opened his relaxed eyes and gave Harry a Malfoy smirk. He pulled out his wand. "Wingardium Leviosa!"

Harry was lifted into the air and placed on the couch. Quickly, before he could react, Draco muttered another incantation and a cage surrounded the hyperactive teen. Draco walked over to the bed, quite pleased with himself.

"Draky! Come on! I don't wanna stay on the couch. DRAKY!" Harry growled, hopping around like crazy, rattling the bars.

Draco ignored him and picked up the bag of candy, examining it. "What the hell…" He muttered allowed as he unwrapped various muggle candies. "Hm…pretty good, see why you like them. Though I don't know how you eat that much! It's absolutely impossible."

"You're evil! How can you sit there and eat it in front of me?!"

Draco only sneered and ate another piece. Harry was bouncing like crazy now. Draco looked up and was somewhat startled.

"Harry, stop bouncing or you're going to…"

CRACK, SNAP, CRASH

"...break the couch." Draco hit his head with his hand. "Merlin, Potter!"

"Ow! Draky it hurts! You can't let me stay here all night! It's uncomfortable. I think something poking my leg. Ow! It's sharp! Make it…"

"Bloody hell Harry, shut up!" Draco shouted, and to his surprise, the Gryffindor did.

"I-I'm…s-sorry." Harry fell silent and rearranged the debris of the couch to where it was tolerable. He pulled off a cushion and propped his head. Yawning, he cuddled his head into it.

I guess his sugar high is crashing.

Draco sighed at the sad, pathetic sight. Seeing him rearrange it, not complaining, it was hard to watch. Strangely, Draco felt bad for yelling at him. He muttered the counter spell for the cage and the blue glow fell. Harry still didn't move from his spot.

"Harry come here, you can sleep on the bed."

Harry raised his head and beamed, though trying his hardest not to show it. While Harry took off his own shoes, socks, tie, and vest, Draco pulled down the covers for them.. The Gryffindor yawned again and climbed onto the bed, cuddling into the covers.

"Thanks." He murmured, falling asleep before his head hit the pillow.

Draco gazed at the so called 'Wonder-Boy'. To his liking, he finally saw that he wasn't 'oh-holier-than-thou', and that he was just a normal teen his age, with maybe a higher than usual – and slightly unhealthy – addiction to sugar. But, still, he wasn't how he thought he was.

Maybe he really does want to help…or maybe I'm just delusional.

Draco sighed, but it soon turned into a yawn. Feeling his eyes become heavy, he decided not to fight it and then he too drifted off to sleep.

----------------

Okay, so I was on a caffeine high when I wrote this. But, it was oddly cute. So take that! HA! I have no idea what I meant by that…it's been long, sleepless nights, what can I say? Well, hope you guys enjoyed it. Hope you didn't mind that Harry was completely OOC.

Oh and everyone, this is a slash!!! I SWEAR IT'LL BECOME ONE. NOT MUCH LONGER!!!! Just please don't kill me!! cowers from anxious reviewers heh…complementary chocolate anyone? Heh…

PLEASE REVIEW!

Suraka-chan

I think I'm losing my mind…


	9. Chapter 9

**Why Do You Even Care?**

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. Seriously if I did, Harry and Draco would have had a hot and steamy sex scene. It would be great…

Beta: fyrelement. I love her to death…she's the best ever!!!! Check out her stories and review, she's really amazing! Thank you fyrelement!!!

Okay, it's a bit, well, pointless in the beginning and I wasn't quite sure how to approach the time changing. But, in a sense it was necessary. Slowly though, the story begins to fall into a plot…ish. Anyway, tell me what you think, and by all means help during those POV paragraphs. They're huge and dangerous. lol.

**lSlSlSlSlSlSlSl**

**Chapter 9**

The next morning Harry's eyes were the first to open. To his surprise, the first thing he saw was the pale skin of Draco's neck.

_What the…_

Harry scanned his body and realized that the blond's arms were wrapped around him and that he was sleeping on Draco's shoulder.

_Holy fuck, I'm in Draco's arms. What if he woke up and found out. Fuck, fuck, fuck! Although, it's not my fault, this somehow happened in a joint movement. So, to save myself the humility as well as his, I'll just slip out, and…_

"Uh…Harry?" Draco murmured as he too woke up, seeing the unexpected position. "We didn't fall asleep like this right?"

"Nope."

"Thought so."

So, with no more words the boys quickly separated and got up from opposite sides of the bed. "Hey Draco, umm….well, sorry about last night." Alright, changing the subject…good. And neither of us will ever speak of that moment again. Never!

"Sorry…I don't know if I want to accept that or ignore it." Draco murmured, rubbing his eyes, and then looking at the pile of debris, with wood and nails protruding through the leather cushions, that was once a couch. "You did a number on the couch too."

"Yeah…are you angry at me? I kind of forgot how I get when I have a lot of candy." Harry said, trying to tame his hair with to no avail.

"I don't think I'm angry, and I am sorry I yelled at you. I just might have been in a state of shock is all. It's okay though; for the most part you were entertaining as hell. Can't wait to get you drunk." Draco sneered.

"Yeah, I don't hold my liquor well." Harry grumbled.

"Would have never guessed." Draco said, rolling his eyes in the process.

"Oh and Draco one more thing." Harry smirked.

"What?" The blond asked.

"You're quite warm." Harry snickered. _Okay, so I mentioned the moment. Once! Only once! Merlin…_

Draco groaned as he rolled his eyes. "Ger-reat Potter, made my bloody day."

For the next month or so, things between the two were going well. For the most part, both slept in the room. They magically fixed the couch, and from then on alternated nights. Though, at least twice a week they slept in their own rooms. Their relationship was about the same, sarcasm so thick it was hard to breathe and egos just as bad. But, in their own odd way, they enjoyed each other's company.

(POVs)

Harry

My friends are still on my ass about my whereabouts, but I duck out before I have time to answer them. And Draco has denied me every piece of candy that came my way. We made a deal though, if I give up candy, Draco gives up smoking, but he gets it a bit more lenient. He's reduced it to about two a day now. Speaking of him…well…Draco is still a mystery. He never gave into telling what happened to him in the beginning of the year, and his nightmares still often occur. I hear Lucius' name on occasion. I wish I knew what he had to do with it.

The rest of the time he just screams incoherently. On those nights, I go over to sooth him, and then go back to where I was sleeping. Draco still doesn't know I do it, and I doubt I will ever tell him. He continues to cut and he knows I still see them on his arms, chest, anywhere really, but luckily they haven't been life threatening…yet.

Draco is more energetic as of late, and his eating habits have improved immensely. There are still those times when he is quiet, and neither of us speak for hours. Some days, I will ask him how he's doing, and he either ignores the question or says 'fine'. When I try and press him further, it usually leads to the same question from me. 'Do you still want to die?' or 'Do you have nothing to live for?' and the answer is always the same, 'Yes I want to die.' and 'No I have nothing to live for.'

Draco never hears the tears I cry in the night when he's asleep. It hurts, and I feel useless for not knowing how to save him, I have nothing I can do, but cry. It's just the feeling of being helpless, of not being able to stop things that happen before my eyes. Every event in my life has been this way – me not stopping Voldemort before my parents were dead, me at the mercy of the Durselyes, me watching Cedric die. Me, watching Sirius die.

I don't know why I'm acting so emotional – worse things have happened. I've never cried like this for anyone else, just him. Sure, I cried for Sirius, and I used to cry for my parents, but they're dead; it's expected. Draco's alive, but maybe I just see him as already dead. Part of him lives, but I know part of him has already died. He's given up on life…

I wish I could persuade him otherwise.

Draco

My life's a haze of confusion. I'm so sure I want to die. Harry asks me all the time if I want to live and I always say no. Yet I haven't killed myself yet. Sometimes I wonder if I am a fake, or maybe scared. I really don't think it's that, though. I know I have the guts to do it. And, I know I want to die, but something is holding me back.

It doesn't take much to figure out that, that something is Harry. But why would he matter so much to me? Maybe because he's been by my side these past weeks. I'm not sure. But he's still such a mystery to me. He really cares for me and I can't understand _why_. He thinks I don't feel him pressed against me after a nightmare, and he thinks I don't hear him cry when I'm asleep. He's using all his time to help me, be with me, to make sure I'm alright. I feel selfish almost, but he seems happy when we do things together. I just wish I could piece everything together.

(End POV section.)

It is Friday, two days before winter holiday. Today, there was a trip planned for Hogsmead. And, since allowed, Harry asked Draco if he was going, and Draco said he was, not like he had much else to do.

They would meet near the door with their individual friends, not with each other. Their strange relationship was secret, after all. Harry came down wearing black denim jeans and a dark green button-up shirt with a black jacket. Draco appeared from the dungeon stairwell wearing a plain black shirt and black pants including chains, zippers, and straps, with a heavy trench coat to top it all off.

"Hey Draco! Over here!" Blaise yelled towards his friend. Draco took a quick glance at Harry, who was already with his Gryffindor cluster, and went to join his Slytherin group.

"Bloody hell! Look at Malfoy! Just proves he's a death eater, all dark and shit. " Ron started pointing and laughing.

"Why is he automatically a death eater because of that outfit?" Harry questioned irritably.

"Look at him Harry!" Ron bellowed.

"I see a different fashion sense, that's all. You should just leave him alone." The raven-haired boy snapped.

Ron's face turned a bit redder at his comment. "What the fuck is up with you lately? We never see you and now you're defending Malfoy! Why in the hell would you ever consider protecting the git?"

Harry bit his lip from screaming; from telling about these past weeks. "Maybe we have the wrong idea about Malfoy."

"Wrong idea about…"

"Ron, Harry, shhh…just forget it!" Hermione compromised. " Drop it! Now the class is moving, so let's go too." For the rest of the trip, Harry and Ron spoke not one word to each other.

The trip was simple, nothing really happened. Harry went to walk off alone since he was still pissed at Ron. Walking up a soulless hill, Harry sat on a flat rock and pulled a sweet from his clothes. It was nothing but a big lollipop, and as childish as it seemed, he'd always love them. When Harry went to take a lick of the sweet substance, so he darted out his tongue, but only tasted air.

"Hey…" Harry murmured, looking at his empty hand.

"Don't give me that, we made a deal! No candy, no smoking." A voice said.

"Oh… sorry Draco, I forgot." Harry said truthfully.

"Bullshit. And I, for once, was on my best behavior, not one cig…didn't even bring one." Draco crossed his arms and looked away.

"I'm sorry Draco, really, won't happen again, it's just Ron…" The Gryffindor trailed off.

Draco frowned a bit and sat next to Harry on the rock. "Yeah I heard you two talking…and…uh…thanks."

Tilting his head, Harry smiled and leaned in closer to the blond boy. "I was only saying the truth." Moving is slow, fluid motions, he continued to diminish the distance between them. He was so close now, only centimeters apart, until…

"You cheating bastard! You're not getting the damn sucker so you can stop trying to reach for it!" Draco yelled, snatching the candy away.

"But Draco! I've had a bad day, let me have a lick! You still smoke sometimes…all I want is a small taste!" He bit his lip as he ceased begging to Draco. The Slytherin held up the lollipop in front of their faces. Then, before Harry could react, Draco took a lick himself. While rising off the rock, he began to bite and chew it.

"You can't do that! You can't eat that right in front of me - that's torturous. That's unfair!" Harry was starting to have a tantrum.

"I could make it worse and lick it instead of biting it. And anyway, you could always smoke in front of me." Draco mused, breaking off another piece.

"You know I don't smoke," Harry grumbled, stomping his feet into the snow covered ground.

"Pity…" Draco tsked, taking the last bit of the candy into his mouth and throwing the stick behind his back.

A couple minutes passed, and Harry's tantrum subsided, sighing at losing the precious sweet he had carefully smuggled. "So Draco, what are you going to do when you go home this holiday?"

Draco looked solemnly at the ground; making a small design in the snow. "I won't be going home this holiday."

Harry looked surprised. "Why not? I mean, it must be wonderful to see your parents, and then get all those gifts. Especially to sleep in a giant, 1000 galleon bed I know you own! Why wouldn't you want to go home?"

"Because I just don't, now drop it!" Draco snapped. When he glanced over he could see the hurt look on the Gryffindor's face. "Sorry Harry…really…I didn't mean…I just don't want to talk about it."

Harry looked at his friend with determined eyes. "It's got something to do with Lucius doesn't it?" Draco didn't answer. Harry cursed and reached his hand up to take hold of Draco's jaw. Harry forced him to turn his head to face him. "Damnit Draco, look at me. What happened between you and Lucius? I want to know, Draco."

The Slytherin opened his mouth to answer, though; it would only be a lie. But, much to the Gryffindor's disgust, the magnified voice of a teacher rang out.

"Attention all Hogwarts students, we'll be returning now." Without a word, Draco freed himself of Harry's hand and ran off. Harry cursed under his breath as he too, got up and went to join the rest of the Gryffindors.

When they arrived back at the school, Harry saw Draco quickly descend to the dungeons with the rest of the Slytherins, making it known he would be there for the rest of the night. Harry mimicked his counterpart's actions and followed his fellow house. They reached the Common room, and Hermione, as head girl, spoke the password, allowing everyone to file in…Harry being the last.

"Oh, Herm, look who decided to grace us with his presence." Ron said mockingly, bowing down to Harry.

"Ron drop it okay!" Hermione said, running a hand through her bushy hair in exasperation.

They became entangled in a shouting match, fighting over Harry. While, as Harry himself became engrossed in his own affairs.

_This is pissing me off. I've become so attached to Draco, it's almost ridiculous. I've never been this close to a single friend in my life, nor have I cared for one so much. It bothers me to no ends when I don't know something, that is bothering him. I've tried so hard to figure him out, but still to me, he's still a fucking enigma. He's ignored my questions, and I don't know if I'm helping him in the slightest. He has not quit cutting, and his suicidal thoughts have not subsided. I don't know if I'm doing any good._

_And I do feel bad for my friends. They really are worried, or annoyingly curious, but still, they wanted to know. I wouldn't let them know, but I'd try and make more time with them…hopefully. Maybe…_

_Well, I make no promises…but…maybe one day, I'll be able to tell them._

Harry ears caught the sound of his testosterone filled best friend. "Come on Herm! Something's up, or at least wrong! Maybe he's sick! He shows the symptoms! Disappearing with no explanation, looking tired, often dazing off, and defending Draco…"

"How is the last one a symptom of being sick Ron?" Hermione asked annoyed.

"What do you mean how, that's the main one!" Ron screamed.

_Well, maybe one day, I'll be able to tell _Hermione

"Ron, I know, but it's not a symptom of sickness." Hermione yelled back.

_I'm doomed to a sad and lonely life._ Harry thought sadly, listening to his bickering friends. Finally, he spoke up. "Hey guys, want to play chess?"

They were in utter shock at his question. Recently, they had spent little time together, and they were fighting about him…and then he comes right out and asked if they wanted to play chess. Ron and Hermione's mouths had yet to speak so Harry just shrugged as he headed up to his room. "I'll go get my set then."

Eventually, Ron gave up, and went to play chess with his friend. Even Hermione played a round, which was very rare. They played for awhile, almost too where things were as they used to be. When finally they were the only ones in the common room until contagious yawns spread. Ron and Harry finished up the game, Harry losing. The trio retreated to their beds, Harry saying goodnight, going first to the room, followed by Ron planting a kiss on Hermione's cheek. Harry slid into his bed and snuggled into the warm sheets.

**lSlSlSl**

The next morning, Harry decided to wait for his friends so that they could walk to the Great Hall together. He had felt a little guilty for blowing them off all the time.

"Hi Harry." Hermione said sweetly, but looking around. "Where's Ron?"

"I believe he woke up late but he should be here any minute." Harry glanced up and saw a red headed figured running towards them. "Speak of the devil."

"Hey guys!" Ron greeted, his breath a bit haggard.

"Honestly Ron, must you always be this disorganized in the morning?" Hermione reached out and fixed her boyfriend's tie.

Harry stared at his companions with a slight frown. _Maybe I'm jealous, maybe it's just too weird…those two I mean. But still part of me is glad they're together. Though, I am jealous in a way. I wish I had someone to be with, someone who cared about **me. **Not The-Savior-Of-The-Wizarding-World, but me. Harry._

The trio made their way to Great Hall, filing in along with the rest of the students. Harry caught a glimpse of Draco, but the Slytherin didn't seem to notice. After a few minutes, most students had arrived and were seated. The breakfast plates appeared and everyone dug in.

"Hey, Harry, what are you going to do during Winter Break? I mean, Herm's going home and her parents invited me. I didn't want to be rude and decline…so, y'know how it is, mate." Ron shoved a piece of bacon into his mouth.

"I'll be fine, seriously. I'm sure I can find something to do. You two have fun. Everyone leaves tomorrow right?"

"Yeah…" Hermione was cut off by the familiar screeching of owls. They flew in, though not very many, and dropped off letters and papers. Amongst the high pitched squeals, a lower, more regal bird could be heard. When Harry looked up, he saw an amazing black, eagle-owl circling around. The owls were no big deal, but this bird was huge, and didn't seem like a bird able to be tamed. The bird swooped down in front of a blond-haired boy at the Slytherin table. It made a noise signifying for the teen to pull off the letter.

_Draco? Hmm…wonder what it says…_

Draco obliged, and untied the ribbon around the letter; pulling it off. Almost immediately the bird flew off, not waiting for a reply. When Draco flipped the letter to the front, he recognized the familiar family crest sealing the envelope. By that time, everyone had already gone back to eating and continuing their conversations, but Harry couldn't help but secretly watch the Slytherin.

Draco opened it and quickly read it over. His eyes became wide, but only for a quick, few seconds before he regained his Malfoy composure. Getting up, he excused himself from his friends, and left the Great Hall.

Harry watched him leave behind the open double doors and disappear out of sight.

_What was that all about?_

**lSlSlSlSISISI**

Hi everyone. Okay, quite a few of my reviewers want some Harry and Draco action…heh. Don't worry, there will be plenty of snogging in good time. Not much longer, I swear it. Please, everyone stay faithful and it'll be worth it! I swear it! THERE'S A REASON IT'S R! Well, yes, eventually there will be a lemon…or better known as male/male sex. Mmmm… So don't worry! And…don't kill me in the process! Hands out Draco and Harry imitation Kiss Kiss Bears™ You people do know those annoying Kiss Kiss Bears™ from Hallmark! But hey, if they were Kiss Kiss Sexy Wizards ya might like them better!

All in all…have pity on your sad author! PLEASE REVIEW! Chapter 10 will be up soon, promise!


	10. Chapter 10

**Why Do You Even Care?**

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. Seriously if I did, Harry and Draco would have had a hot and steamy sex scene. It would be great…

Beta: fyrelement. I love her to death…she's the best ever!!!! Check out her stories and review, she's really amazing! Thank you fyrelement!!!

Look everyone! I kept my promise! Love me! All right, finally my plot comes into play. A little less useless…uh…ness. Yah! Enjoy!

__----------------

**Chapter 10**

(Draco's POV)

Lucius, you bastard! How can you threaten me like this? This is an all time low.

_--Draco,_

_It has been a while since I have heard from you. I have felt your absence sharply. You are to come up to the Manor this Winter Holiday.--_

I walked to the Common Room; speaking the password and stepping in. I wondered what Harry was thinking of now. He seems to linger in my mind these days.

_--I expect you will not want to see me but you have no choice in the matter. I hunger for you, and I will sate myself.--_

I stumbled to my four poster bed and collapsed on it, pounding my fists into the pillow while wishing it was Lucius I was tearing apart.

_-- It is in your best interest to comply with my wishes, for I am both your superior and your father. Obedience is a virtue, and you will apply it. If by any chance you do not... the name Demetri rings a bell, no?--_

I stopped my thrashing and calmed my breathing slowly. I couldn't believe him. I couldn't believe he wanted to ruin my life so badly. That he wanted to hurt me so much. But I had no other choice. Demetri had been my only childhood friend and has stayed loyal to me all these years. He helped me escape and I couldn't abandon him.

_--Though I find it ridiculous that you befriended such a worthless creature, things have fallen in my favor and Demetri becomes useful.--_

The urge to cut floods my mind - I want to slice so deep I wouldn't wake up ever again. I'm terrified of what will happen when I finally confront Lucius. I know what he wants from me. He will use my escape and Malfoy heritage for an excuse to punish me.

_--Now as touching as it may be that the house elf helped you…it did not please me to find you missing. I could sense something was wrong when I came home that night, and I knew that it was Demetri when I found you gone. Eventually, after some **minor** persuasion, I got him to tell me that he had released you from your captivity.--_

I couldn't cut. I wouldn't. Not to escape this world or for my own release - he was pleased seeing the fresh ones last time, knowing he was the cause, and I will snog Pansy before I consciously give him pleasure. Last time, he also took a liking to the fact I was gay. I try so hard to displease and it just intrigues him further. So I will have to grin and bear it.

_--I was not pleased to hear of this. I was not ready for your departure. Though it is only a minor setback, I was annoyed. I will have you, or your next message from me will contain a most unpleasant appendage from the wretched elf. And I'll leave his eyes open when I send it, so that you may see them accusing you, because you would be the reason for his painful demise.--_

_I'm aching to see you, Draco, and will be welcoming you when you arrive._

_Your Father,_

_Lucius Malfoy-_

I cursed as I felt the note in my pocket. I hate him, but I must still obey him. I couldn't let Demetri die. Walking over to my trunk, I packed some clothing for the trip, and my necessities. I only bring one knife, in case I cannot take it any more. He may kill me, I am aware of that. If that's what he chooses, then I will do it myself.

Even with all of these thoughts running rampage through my head, all I can think about is Harry.

Would this be the last time I would see him?

I didn't want it to be - I wanted to spend the rest of the day with him. So I will write him a quick note asking him to meet me in the room. Tomorrow, Monday, everyone leaves, including myself.

I got him a present, you know. I hope he likes it. I will give it to him tonight. Better send him the note now then and finish my packing.

Breakfast had ended and almost everyone headed up to their Common Rooms to get ready to leave. Harry went, just because he had nothing better to do. They reached the Gryffindor tower. Harry followed Ron to the Boys' Dormitory to help him pack. He wasn't sure of what he should wear meeting Hermione's parents.

_Pathetic. _Harry thought to himself.

An hour later, Harry was ready to strangle him - he was ready to do anything to stop Ron's babbling about his girlfriend and taking his relationship to the next level - when a small knocking noise could be heard from a window. Quickly, Harry opened the window, letting the black owl come in from the cold. It shook its wings, getting the snow off, and then perched itself on Harry's shoulder. On the bird's foot was a letter with the name _'Harry'_ scrawled across it. He removed it and handed the shivering bird some of Hedwig's treats. It cooed thankfully as it flew out the open window, in which Harry shut after the bird left.

Harry opened the letter and read the words printed.

_Harry,_

_Meet me in our room as soon as you can. I have something to give you._

_-D_

"Who's that from?" Harry was surprised to hear Ron's voice. _Truthfully I didn't think he'd even notice._

"Oh, no one…" Harry said, stuffing the note into his pocket. "Listen Ron, I have to go, I'll see you later."

"But Harry…" Ron started.

"Bye Ron!" Harry yelled - he was already out of the room.

Before Harry knew it he had already sprinted down numerous staircases and hallways. He reached his destination. Harmony was humming to herself.

"Oh, hello Harry! Coming to see Draco? He's already inside." Her angelic voice rang.

"Thanks." Harry took a deep breath.

"Bit out of breath are we?" Her giggling echoed around them. "Well, then…password?"

"Revadenia." The portrait swung open and Harry could see Draco sitting on the bed. There was a large trunk by the floor of the bed. "What's with the trunk? You moving down here?" Harry joked.

"Actually, there has been a change of plans. It seems I will be going home this holiday." Draco said sadly.

Harry walked over to Draco and sat next to him, making himself comfortable. For a minute, neither said anything. Harry opened his mouth awkwardly. "But…I can tell…you don't want to go. So why go?"

Draco sighed. "Because I have to."

Harry growled and pulled Draco closer to him, their eyes meeting. Harry could see everything. Guilt. Regret. Sadness, and… fear? "Draco, please just tell me what happened! Tell me why you're going there!"

"Harry…I just…I can't tell you! Please don't push it any further! I want to have a nice night tonight okay? I'm already stressed out!" Draco yelled, tears coming to his eyes and trailing down his cheeks.

The Gryffindor's eyes fell as he watched Draco fall apart. He was so close, yet he seemed out of reach. "Fine, but…just tell me one thing. Is Lucius the problem? Is he what you're so afraid of? Every time I mention his name you flinch, Draco. I'm worried."

The light-haired boy let his eyes fall on Harry's as he answered. "Yes, Lucius has everything to do with it!" Draco paused. "But, try not to be worried…"

"Even _you're_ worried, how can I not be?"

This time, Draco did not answer. He drew his knees up and hid his face from Harry's view. He would not let Harry see him like this again. _Feeling the movement of my own body is unnerving and Harry was right, I am absolutely terrified just thinking about Lucius. I'm worried yes, but worried that this will be the last time I see Harry. Worried that Demetri will die._

He was brought out of his cold thoughts by the warmth of a hand snaking its way between Draco's arms, and lifting his chinTheir gazes met. __

_His eyes are burning with something I cannot place, but just by the look, my fears and worries melted away._

The warmth moved its way up his cool, pale skin, causing Draco to gasp. Harry's hand rested on his cheek, making a circular motion with his soft thumb until it rested onto full, pink lips which were now slightly parted.

Harry leaned in until the space between them was less then an inch. He moved to the left cheek and licked away Draco's tears. Then in the same fluid motion, he repeated the action to the right; never breaking the eye contact.

"Harry…" Draco breathed out. The distance between them lessened until the Harry had fully captured Draco in a staggering kiss. It was soft and sweet, yet rough with a hint of desperation. Neither cared whether or not bruises would form.

A slender, tan hand entangled itself in soft blond hair, and its match pushed its weight against the owner of the blond hair, never once losing the kiss. Harry lay atop Draco, their groins grinding against each other. A moan hummed in Draco's throat and Harry savored the tantalizing vibration. Reluctantly, the boys pulled away in lack of air.

Nothing was said at first, the only noise heard was the heavy, fast paced breathing from each other. Their hearts were beating and blood was rushing beneath their skin. The faint haze covering their eyes deluded as everything regulated.

"Harry…" But two fingers pressed themselves against Draco's lips, ceasing his talk. Harry wrapped his arms around Draco and kissed him on the forehead.

"If you're going to ask me about what just happened, I can't explain it…and I'm not trying to. For now…just relax. Come closer." Draco obliged and was rewarded with a _chaste_ kiss. Draco entangled his legs with Harry's while snuggling his head down in the crook of his neck. Draco yawned and curled up. He had been so worked up all day, and now that he felt safe, he found himself becoming sleepy, and it was only mid-afternoon.

Harry only tightened his hold on the boy, until he felt smooth, even breathing coming from beneath him.

_I can't believe what I just did! I kissed Draco and now I'm holding him. Even though I can't quite explain what I'm feeling…all I know is I like the feeling. And, it comes so naturally. Logic can't be used for every situation, for there is none in this one._

Harry was the first to wake up. He gazed down at the sleeping figure below him.

_He looks so innocent. But I know something traumatic happened to him and he won't tell me. It does have to do with Lucius. He came here with bruises and cuts. He was quiet and blocked everyone out. He had attempted suicide._

**_I can't let him go home. Not alone._**__

_I may need help, but I have an idea._

Harry quietly slid out of the bed, leaving Draco alone. Outside, you could see the moon, but checking his watch, Harry could see that it was only 8pm. The Gryffindor grabbed a pen and a piece of paper. He scribbled down a small message to Draco.

_Draco,_

_I will be back shortly, promise. At most 9:30._

_-Harry_

Harry snuck out of the room and to the Gryffindor tower. Unfortunately, he had left his invisibility cloak upstairs in his trunk, but he could manage. After passing a few prefects, he reached the portrait and quietly said the password. He entered and found almost everyone lounging around the Common Room. There, in the corner, he saw the two people he needed to talk to. Desperately.

"Ron, Hermione…can we talk? Alone. I need your help."

"About what?" Hermione inquired.

"I need to tell you everything that's been going on with me. But it can't be here." Harry whispered urgently.

"Well, then let's go to my room - no one can interrupt up there." Hermione said.

"I'd say, there are some perks of being the boyfriend of the Head Girl." Ron smirked.

"Not now Ron!" Hermione hissed, leading the boys to her room. She spoke the password and they entered. Her room was a good size. It had a canopy bed with a fireplace that was already lit. Books littered the bed and table, but other that that it was quite neat. Very Hermione-like. Harry sat directly on the floor crossed legged, and Ron and Hermione followed suit.

"Merlin, where do I start?" Harry murmured, placing his head in his hand and shaking it. He took a deep breath and faced them. "Okay, first off, you must swear yourselves to secrecy. Especially you Ron, because of all people, you are not going to like this news. Just please, don't be rash when you hear this and just… well… trust me. Because I need your help more than ever."

"I promise Harry, I won't say a word. You can always trust us." Hermione said seriously.

"I won't say a word, even if I hate it, but if it's for my best friend, well then, I'll bear with it." Ron said truthfully. _He may be an idiot, but he's a loyal idiot._

"Okay…" Harry took another deep breath and let it out. "It began at the beginning of school, on the train ride here. When you started snogging on the train, I decided to move to another compartment. Well, as you can imagine, most were full, but there was one with only one person in it, though I couldn't tell you it was, for he had a black cloak covering his whole body."

Ron and Hermione blushed. "Sorry about that."

Harry shook his head._ If it hadn't been for then snogging I would have never gotten into this mess._

_I don't know whether to thank or kill them._

"Well, I tried making small talk, trying to find out who it was. Finally, the figure answered." Harry paused and looked at Ron. "It was Draco, but he still kept himself completely covered."

"Did you just call him Draco?" Harry could see Ron already not liking where this was going.

Harry ignored him. "There was a small argument between us and by his tone and words, I knew something was wrong. Not much was said after that. Finally I checked my watch to see I we were almost at school. I got dressed, and then walked over to Draco to wake him up. Well, curiosity got the best of me and I pulled down his hood." Harry paused and decided to continue. "His face was covered in bruises and scratches. He started to flinch and murmur until he shot up from his nightmare. I tried asking him what was wrong, but after a few words between us, he blew me off and left."

"Stupid git." Ron murmured to himself.

"It wouldn't leave my mind. The next time I got to see him was when we were partnered up in Hagrid's class. Nothing much was really said, but there was a lot of looks. When Draco got hurt, we didn't go to Madam Pompfrey, we went to Snape."

"Snape? Why Snape?" Ron asked curiously.

"That's what I wondered, but after numerous odd characteristics they displayed towards each other, I had to ask why they seemed so close." _Probably best not to tell I was less than ecstatic. _"It turned out that Snape was Draco's godfather."

"What? No wonder he does so well in that class!"

"Actually Ron, though I hate to admit it, Draco is excellent at potions. And if you really think about it, it's not too hard to believe that Snape's his godfather." Hermione said.

"Anyway, Snape healed him with a potion. When I left that night from Dinner, leaving you guys, I took a plate of food and said I had to get help from Snape. Well, I didn't, I was looking for Draco, because he hadn't eaten in days. After persuasion from my side, I convinced Draco to let me follow him. He let me come into the Slytherin Common Room."

"Always kind of liked it there." Ron interrupted. Hermione gave him a look. "I'm serious, have you seen those couches. Fucking leather! Soft leather too."

"Anyway, there was a silence, and then he refused to eat. We got into a fight, a big fight. Insults, the works. Something really ticked him off, and he punched me. I went back to punch him, but something stopped me."

"What?" Ron asked curiously now.

"He was bleeding…and not from his wound earlier that day. It was a long, deep gash on from his wrist to his forearm."

"You mean, Malfoy, he…" Hermione asked.

"At the time I didn't know, but later I found out that he had attempted suicide. And, while we're still on it, he is still suicidal. About two months after that, I forced Draco to talk to me. I went to that room, the one Dumbledore gave me. Well, we talked, and after awhile, finally he let me see everything. He took off his shirt and he was covered in cuts, scars, burns, burned in designs, everything and anything."

Harry rested his head back in his hand. "Since then, I've been trying to help him, get over everything. Before I knew it, we became great friends."

"Did you ever find out what happened at the beginning of the year?" Hermione questioned.

"No, and that's the main problem. He has nightmares, and he screams Lucius' name more times than not. He flinches each time he's mentioned. I questioned him earlier today, and it has something to do with Lucius. At first he wasn't going to go home this Winter Holiday, but since he received that letter, something scared him and now he's going back. I can't let that happen. Well, I know I can't change his mind, for there must be a good reason he decided to go. So I have to follow him. I have to find a way, I'm just not exactly sure how. Something tells me Floo powder might not exactly work on a Malfoy Manor. Those places are covered in barriers. I just want to make sure he'll be okay."

Harry looked at his friends with solemn eyes. "Guys, you don't have to, but I'm so worried about him…I was just wondering…well…"

"You want our help." Ron had finally spoken up. "Hermione…do you think you're parents would mind if I didn't come?"

Hermione smiled and replied. "I'm sure they wouldn't mind that _we_ skipped this Christmas visit for important matters."

"Ugh…I can't believe I'm going to help that idiot. I'm only doing this for you Harry." Ron complained.

Harry smiled and crawled over to his friends. He gave them hugs each. "Thank you guys so much. But this could be dangerous trying to sneak in."

"Like that's anything new." She paused and smiled. "So, how can we help?" Hermione said, smiling, while leaning into Ron.

**bpbpbpbpbpbpbp**

Yah!!!!!!!! Happy me! Got a plot! Got some kissing!!! Woohooo! What did everyone think? Yes, yes, I know Chapter 10 and they finally kiss…leave me be? Patience is a virtue…

Okay, I'm one of the most impatient people, so I am now a hypocrite. Yah me!

Well, anyway…PLEASE REVIEW!

Suraka-chan


	11. Chapter 11

**Why Do You Even Care?**

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Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. Seriously if I did, Harry and Draco would have had a hot and steamy sex scene. It would be great…

Beta: fyrelement / starlit gossamer I love her to death…she's the best ever!!!! Check out her stories and review, she's really amazing! Thank you fyrelement!!!

Well, everyone, I want to give a special, SPECIAL thanks to my beta. She is extremely busy, and yet she still finds time to do this for me. I love her to death. Here's chapter 11, hope you enjoy it! And really you should check out my beta's work. Her name, other than fyrelement, is starlit gossamer. She does amazing work! Check it out!

Everyone who reviewed THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!! I'm past the 200 mark!!!! 200!!!! I cant believe it. It made me so happy, I couldn't believe everyone liked this story. Oh…it makes my cold and lonely nights warm!!!! Lol. Sorry, I'm eating plain cookie dough again. Thanks everyone!!!

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**Chapter 11**

"So… that's it?" Hermione asked dully. "_That_ is your brilliant plan?" Her chest heaved heavily, anger starting to rise. "You want us to just waltz in and rescue Malfoy if there's a problem?"

"No, er, not exactly. And, I didn't say 'waltz' on in there, I said 'sneak'. I have my invisibility cloak right now - we can use it."

Hermione made a sound of exasperation. "Thank Merlin you came to me before you pig-headedly went in there on your own. You would have been captured by Lucius and handed over to the Dark Lord!"

"Ah come on 'Mione, I'm not loud when I have it on!" Harry protested, trailing behind her as she paced.

"Yeah, and what did you mean 'thank Merlin you came to me'? What about _me_!?" Ron yelled.

Hermione rubbed the bridge of her nose with her left hand; as her right was flexing and relaxing – her own way of dealing with the ignorant idiots she considered her best friends. "How have I managed to deal with you two for this long? Harry, every witch and wizard has a magical signature. It's not really noticeable, but with proper spells and barriers it could be. Lucius Malfoy is Voldemort's right-hand man, don't you think his house would be covered in wards to detect those signatures?"

"Oh… guess you're right." Harry murmured. "If that's so, then how can we do it?"

"Simple. We place a spell on each of us to mask our magical signatures… but that means you cannot use magic while under it. If you do, your magical energy gets the best of you. It will break, and we will be _screwed_."

"And… you know this spell, Herm?" Ron asked hopefully.

"Yes. One of you - well, that would be Harry – will place the spell on me and I will, in turn, place it on you two." Hermione said calmly.

Ron scowled and turned away from his girlfriend. "You give me no magical credit. I _am_ capable of doing spells too you know."

She sighed and looked at the red head. "You're right, I'm sorry." Hermione leaned and planted a tender kiss on his cheek.

"So I can do the spell?" Ron chirped.

Hermione glanced at him, cocking an eyebrow, for a minute before standing up and stating simply, "No." She grabbed a few books, and gestured for the boys to look at them. Ron huffed angrily, but when finally looking at the spell, he was somewhat relieved. The red headed Gryffindor doubted he would be able to even pronounce the words correctly.

**bpbpbpbp**

"Alright," Hermione said after awhile, having just run over the kinks and in the main strategy of their plan, which she had pounded into the two boys' heads. "I think that's it; we leave to follow him bright and early in the morning. All Ron and I have to do is send an emergency owl to Fred and George to steal Mr. Weasley's car. We really need it to be able to follow Malfoy. It shouldn't be too hard; those two can pull off anything." She got up, giving her boyfriend a hand as well. "Well, Harry, we're off to send that letter. Maybe you should go back to Draco. Maybe he'll talk."

They left to go their separate ways.

**bpbpbpbp**

Draco's eyes fluttered open, seeing only what was illuminated by gentle moonlight. Moving slightly, his body stiffened at the cold feeling of the soft, empty sheets around him. Searching frantically, for Harry and his warmth, his blind fingers grasped a small piece of parchment, no doubt left by said boy. Tilting it carefully as if it was as fragile as spun glass towards the soft light, he could make out the simple words.

_Draco,_

_I will be back shortly, promise. At most 9:30._

_-Harry_

Draco crumpled the note and threw it with all the strength he could muster. It wasn't that he was mad at Harry or anything; he was just stressed in more ways than one, and the piece of paper seemed like a good victim to let his frustrations out on. Not that it did much good… it was _paper_ after all.

The Slytherin knew what he wanted to do. He also knew he shouldn't do it, but the urge was too strong, and what he would undoubtedly receive at 'home' stiffened his resolve. Hastily, Draco reached into his bag, which he kept close by, yet hidden, and grabbed his trusty knife.

Usually, he would take more time with this, reveling in it, but he was just so angry; so tense; so impatient for everything to happen, and yet prayed for time to stand still. He just wanted it now. He _needed _it now.

He unsheathed the dagger and held it to his forearm.

_I'm sorry I'm so weak._ He wastalking to no one in particular, but he felt it needed to be said; or at least thought.

Draco's thought process slowed and blurred out of focus as angry, stressed tears streamed down his face. With no hesitation, the blond bent over his forearm, taking everything out on it.

_For making my father hate me so._

**Slash. **

_For making me a freak._

**Slash.__**

_For involving Demetri._

**Slash. Slash.**

_For having Harry care about me when it's pointless._

**Slash. Slash. Slash.__**

_For making me so fucking weak!_

**Slash. Slash. Slash. Slash. Slash.**

And through it all, he couldn't see; couldn't breath, only able to witness agonizingly poisonous thoughts flow into his mind.

It had happened all so fast. The slashes were quick. There were few breaks between, if any. The thoughts had zipped in his mind so quickly, as soon as they came, they were gone and on to a next. The only thing happening was here and now. The only thing real was his flesh, mind, and dagger. Until he could feel a sudden warmth spreading across his arm.

It was only after the tears ceased when he could clearly see his bloodstained arm. The shining, crimson liquid dripping off the edge of the sharp blade joined in the small puddle that had gathered. In shock, Draco dropped the knife to the floor, the clatter echoing, bouncing against the silenced walls.

Did I just do that? I mean of course I did it, but I only barely remember…I…He frowned. This is what I want though… right? I've wanted to die for a while now. Even my subconscious wants it…And a person's subconscious is supposed to be pro-life… 

But his thoughts were cut short when he heard the opening of the portrait entrance. Harry stepped in and could see the silhouette of a sitting Draco. But when Harry continued looking with the dim light, he saw something dark, pooling on the bed, Draco's arm – even the floor.

Immediately Harry murmured a word.

"_Lumos_," and sharply took in an extraordinary amount of air. "Draco…" He was going to say more, but nothing would come. Almost instinctively, Harry walked over to the shivering boy and sat next to him. He pulled up the arm and examined the lacerations. They weren't that deep, but there were quite a few.

In silence, the two sat, neither able to speak. Suppressed sobs escaped from Draco's mouth, and soon his body began to move in the rhythm of the almost mute cries. It overtook him until he was unable to even acknowledge how much he was letting out. Without thought, Draco dragged his hand up to wipe the tears off his face.

Harry watched his every movement. He watched the tears fall. He watched his body shake. He watched as the ever-flowing blood continued to soak into its surroundings. He watched as Draco raised his hand and smeared blood all across his flawless, pale cheek.

Finally, he gently reached for Draco's marred arm and slowly pulled it towards him. The Slytherin watched with wide eyes. Harry leaned down and darted his tongue across the fresh wounds, causing Draco to wince, but his eyes never leaving the scene before him. He was captured, unable to look away, trapped in morbid fascination.

Harry licked across Draco's arm, claiming the crimson liquid. Eventually the blood flow had slowed to a non-critical point. Harry raised his eyes up meet Draco's; green meeting gray. The blood was smeared across the dark-haired boy's cheeks, lips, and nose. Calm jade orbs didn't betray what he was truly feeling; lust, hurt, sadness, confusion… he couldn't understand Draco sometimes. He thought he had done some good to him and yet he still continued to cut.

_What if he had passed out?_

_Does he know he could have bleed out? Does he understand he could have died!_

_Or… Perhaps he knew the risks, and did it anyway – intentionally…_

_I just wish I could fix him. Pull him close and tell him everything will be all right. Take away his pain - or at least let me get close enough to help. Let me help him mend, let me help him sew up his ragged seams. I'd do anything just to see a smile on his face; to see that gleaming sparkle in his eyes._

_I wonder if he understands that. I wonder if he even has a clue how much he means to me._

Harry abruptly leaned down and captured Draco's lips with his own. For a minute time froze; no movement, just the warmth of their lips pressed together.

But as tears formed at the corners of Harry's eyes, he began moved franticly. It was so desperate, so demanding, so angry and upset, and with his raging emotions he dominated Draco.

Draco could taste the metallic flavor of his blood lingering in Harry's mouth. It was bittersweet, and combined with Harry's unique flavor, it was irresistible. They simultaneously descended onto the bed as the raven-haired boy straddled the blond. The heated kiss deepened, Harry getting rougher, grinding his hips into Draco, causing the boy to moan deep from his throat. Harry skillfully removed Draco's shirt and threw it across the room.

Harry kissed his way down Draco's jawline, licking and nibbling the taunt flesh. He reached the crook of his neck and paid special attention causing the blond to moan in pleasure. "Ah…H-Harry…p-plea-se…wai-…oh…" At those words, Harry bite down on Draco's neck hard. Not wanting him to speak, not wanting him have his say. Stars danced in front of Draco's eyes as an immensely pleasurable pain shot through him. Harry let his grip on the boy's neck loosen. He then tenderly licked and kissed across the bite.

Forcefully, Draco pushed Harry away with his one good hand, but only enough to make him stop.

Suddenly Harry's eyes widened and took in the sight below. He let his head sag and fall onto Draco's chest and cried. "I'm sorry Draco…my emotions, they just got the best of me. I felt like I was losing you…I'm so sorry. I would never do anything to intentionally hurt you. Never."

Draco leaned forward and kissed Harry on the forehead. When Harry looked up, he smiled gently, thanking him for accepting his apology.

The Gryffindor lifted one leg up and released Draco. His arm had slightly started to bleed again. The Slytherin's body was coated randomly in his own blood, especially his back. Harry himself had blood on his knees and face. "Hey Draco," Harry said after his observations. "Why don't you go take a shower, okay? I'll clean up here."

The blond nodded and hurried himself into the bathroom.

Harry glanced around at his surroundings, letting the images replay through his mind. Seeing the blood, the tears; feeling the passion, and the forgiveness. It was all so overwhelming. He placed his head into his hands the shook it gently side to side.

_I can't wait until I can find the answers. I can find out why Draco is the way he is. Maybe then, I'll not be so worthless. Tomorrow we follow him to his house, so maybe then, everything will fall into place._

_I just hope we can pull it off._

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Lol, I had written a lot of this in the library at school. I was supposed to be doing this project for my honors English class. Hey, there were two, and I had finished the other one in two days. Oh well, I'm missing class for this. Yah!

PLEASE REVIEW. Ohhhh….I really do love reviews, they make me write faster knowing people like it! Well, hope you enjoyed it and I hope to have the next chapter up soon, I may get extra time, since I'm sick and all. coughcough Until later…

Suraka-chan


	12. Chapter 12

**Why Do You Even Care?**

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Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. If I did, well, it'd be much more fucked up and I'd be rich.

Well, it's been years, hasn't it. Yet, somehow I still received reviews. Some of you are so dedicated. I guess if I didn't get to finish a story I started reading, I'd be irritated too. I've changed a bit, and it might reflect in my writing style. I honestly don't know. Good luck and glad I could update.

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**Chapter 12**

The wind bustled restlessly, matching the erratic heart rate of the only Malfoy heir. The always-uninviting Malfoy estate loomed over Draco. He opened the door cautiously. Right as he slipped in, he could hear the familiar clacking of expensive shoes on marble floors. He set his suitcase down and gathered his emotions to lock them away.

The one and only Lucius Malfoy stepped forward with a glass of red wine in his right hand. As he walked towards his son with his back straight, he let a sickly sweet smile spread across his praised features. "Afternoon, Draco, was your trip alright?" Draco kept silent and instead studied the way Lucius wine twirled around in his crystal glass. Lucius took a sip of the drink and set it down on the table. "Hm…not in the talking mood I see. That disappoints me Draco. All I wanted was a little chat between a father and his son."

"You are no father to me." Draco replied coolly. The older of the two could do no more than smirk. Draco gathered his courage. "Where's Demetri?"

Lucius eyes gleamed wickedly, but then fell flat. "You know," Lucius began, "I never quite understood why you named that creature such a high authorized name. It's breeding vessels were going to name a normal slave name, but no, you went out and decided to name it after your favorite character from a storybook that your tutor read to you as a child." He paused for a moment to reflect. "That was back when your mother drank a lot less and asked me to allow you to keep the damn thing as your own servant. I let it be because it was then another free parasite to do our bidding."

Draco listened carefully, but couldn't help but wonder why his father would reflect back on a house elf. Something felt wrong. "Where is Demetri, Lucius?"

"I see that this will go nowhere. Well, then I guess to please you, dear son, I shall retrieve the creature for you. But first, I have a present for you." Draco eyed his father in suspicion as the death eater before him reached into a drawer and pulled out a chest. He lifted it up and handed it over to his son. Draco eyed it cautiously, but knew that his father would leave the situation be without him opening the box.

The Slytherin unclasped the eloquent locks and slowly opened it up. Inside, there was a black, velvet tied bag. Draco grabbed the tie and loosened it. But as he did so, his hands felt sticky. He pulled them back and looked down at his hands. The oh so familiar color of red tainted his fingers. His hands began to shake and he had to see where the source was from. He pulled down the bag over the form.

It was all Draco could do for him not to cry out. He found his eyes morbidly transfixed on his once, beloved house elf's head. The smell of death burned at his nose.

Draco's arms fell limply to his side as small tears fell from his eyes. He thought he could hear laughter in the background. He only assumed it was his fathers. He thought he felt hands roaming up and down his body, but he wasn't really sure. His eyes were still engrossed on his childhood friend.

Why?

Why would Lucius do this to me? What had I ever done to deserve this?

Why? I just don't understand.

The room seemed to become colder. His neck felt wet and it seemed that his chest was bare. He wondered how, but didn't care enough to move his eyes to check.

Oh, Demetri, I am so sorry. Why did you involve yourself with a retch like me? Why?

Draco's world seemed to become blurred at the motion he was moving in. He wasn't sure what was going on. He noticed that Demetri's head became a blur and his senses came back to him in full force. At first, he felt the horrible scratching on his back everything he collided with the candlestick wall holder. He looked down and watched as his father's face contorted as he fucked him. Tears freely streamed as the feeling of his stretched and now ripped opening were felt. And combined with all the emotions, something cracked inside Draco that you would have to be deaf not to hear. But as it ended up, it was only Draco who heard the deafening crack.

Draco's arm flung up and over his head. His fingers tightly clasped around the golden candle stick holder and forcefully ripped it from the wall. Drywall pieces came flying out and got into Lucius wide eyes. Lucius immediately dropped his son and rubbed his eyes wildly. The next thing we did see was a flash of gold coming in contact with the side of his head. He fell to the floor and moaned. He held onto his head in agony.

Draco took the moment to run upstairs in nothing but an opened black button up shirt and socks. He ran with all his might up to the top floor on the Malfoy Manor. Draco could hear the staggered footsteps on his father behind him. The young Slytherin decided to jump into the open bathroom door. He quickly opened up the cabinet and searched franticly for something, anything. He heard his persuers footsteps getting louder. Finally a long black stick fell to his hands. Draco examined it further to come to realize it was actually a straight edge razor that his father used. He quickly snapped it open in time to feel Lucius' thick hands around his thin neck. The death eater seemed too inraged to notice the weapon in his son's hands.

Draco raised up his hand and quickly slashed downward onto his father forearm. For the second time, Lucius dropped Draco. Draco then gasped for air, lying down flat on the tile floor. Without thinking, the youngest Malfoy dragged the sharp blade across one of his father's Achilles tendon. Abrubtly, Lucius feel to his knees and came to level with his son. There eyes met.

Draco saw the terror in his father's eyes and reveled in it. Finally he had him. Finally!

With all his effort, Draco swiped the blade across Lucius' throat. The blood came out in floods. He looked like a fish out of water, with the way that the older Malfoy gapped in mouth open and shut trying to retain air. Draco could only watch in facination. He then leaned close to his father, not caring that the blood began to fall into his hair, and whispered only a few cold words.

"You deserved so much more."

The light in his father's eyes faded and he fell to the floor.

Draco's adrenaline relaxed and reacted like a zombie. Draco stood up and walked down the long hallway, down the grand staircase and opened the front door. The fresh winter air rushed around his near naked body. It's not like he had neighbors to see him anyway. The wind whistled and howled at him. At this murderer, Draco thought.

I'm a murder…

And with that last thought, his fatigue engulfed his body and he collapsed on the front porch, with the door still wide open.

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Well, there, I wrote some. It's shorter then my other chapters, but at least it's an update. I can't promise that I'll update frequently, but currently I'm in a writing mood, so we'll see wont we? Reviews never hurt either.

-Black


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